YouTube
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
YouTube is stupid.
With the raging craze of online blogging, user forums, Livejournals, and online spaces, it was time for a new, earth-shattering idea to emerge. YouTube came up with this devilish idea! Instead of only blogging using lame-ass usernames, boring text and more boring photos, why not blog using videos?
YouTube can be classified as an innovative online social networking website, which enables users to share videos (usually their own), reply to each other's posts, and leave comments (oh Good Lord!) In short, it is the perfect place for innovators. But since there aren't many of those around on our planet, chances are you will never run into anything remotely innovative over there. You will only discover (or reaffirm what you already know) that the human race is only a bunch of stupid monkeys (please see attached illustrations! hehe).
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YouTube User Categories
One would think that, because you can actually see a YouTube user, ugly, fat and horribly shaped users will refrain from posting on a video blogging service. Surprisingly enough, this is far from being the case! It is in fact the other way around. A major percentage of users (about 99.9961%) can be safely classified as fat or ugly retards. Here are some famous user categories.
1. Auto Maniacs
A very large user group indeed! These video posters range from assholes who want to show the entire world that they have a '96 honda with a spoiler, to crazy dudes who drive their cars on an expressway at 180 miles/hour, then leave the steering wheel at this speed, grab their digital camera, and take a shot of the speedometer (as a proof, so they won't have to swear to God they did it!) Of course, about 83.6% of those never actually make it home to post their videos! Still, an overwhelmingly high number manage to post it and amaze their fellow idiots.
2. lonely girl
Nothing new here! Same old story repeats itself, only this time with live video! To give you a clear idea, I took liberty to write down a portion of the script of one of the real videos I ran into:
aaaa.. ummm.. well.. I'm posting this video in reply to all those shitty and insulting comments you guys posted on my previous video. I was trying to be funny but i didn't wanna insult any of you guys! (starts crying) why are you so mean to me? Why all those terrible words you shittin... m.. motherrr fucker... idiots Sorry i didn't mean to insult you! (cries more) I .. love you all really.. why.. wh.. Ok.. ok.. I wanna say to kool-dude-Triple-x that hes so mean in his comments & to butterfly-69 who thinks i'm a bitch i wanna tell her that .. (Script truncated due to ongoing silliness!)
Note: the above was an actual script of one of the videos! LOL
3. The Officially Retarded
When you have nothing to say, all you can do is try to be funny! right? Well, it's amazing how those people try to be funny! It actually scares the shit out of you how a huge percentage of today's new generations are in fact retards! This shows us where the world is going. Mercy oh Lord.
3. Celebrity Wannabes
Those are typical attention whores who are hungry for more red stars under their videos, or a higher number of comments (even if it's offensive comments, doesn't matter). They are usually 42-year old men who post video replies to any video that hits more than 100,000 user watches, hoping that people would be stupid enough to click on them. Another famous trick is to place one frame of a half-naked woman somewhere in the video, to get all the horny idiots to view it. Ironically, it works every time despite the fact that everyone knows YouTube doesn't allow porn!
4. Talkers, Talkers, Talkers!
The whole idea behind posting a video is to see something. Anything. Last thing you wanna see when watching a video is to stare in the face of some ugly dude for several minutes and watch him try to remember what he wanted to say! You will never understand why these assholes don't just post a text blog instead of wasting server resources!
5. Old guys in disguise! (eww)
There is the occasional creepy old guy that pretends to be a female so he can get videos of 13 year old boys jacking off. This is actually scarily common, so if your a 13 year old boy, for the love of Allah and his winged steed Al-Borak, dont post a video of yourself jacking off for username: iamdefinetlyahotgirl.
Business Success
Apparently, as the number of users on YouTube was growing exponentially, someone out there was watching! Google, the renowned search engine company, was obviously trying to do something similar. Google Video had been out there for a while, but it seems no one was paying any attention to it. It seems like Google felt jealous, and was afraid someone would steal the thunder of its new baby, so they decided to buy YouTube.
Fair enough, but the real surprise was the price Google decided to pay. For a generous $1.65 Billion US (yes, you read it correctly!) it might be an extravagant value for a company that was born in Feb 2005!
This just makes you wonder how much wealth stupidity can actually get you!
