Teenager
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Teenagers are stupid.
Teenagers are a type of human that are old enough to have sex and do drugs, but not old enough to do these things without getting pregnant, catching AIDS, or getting caught by the police. Some teenagers are retarded enough to have all three things (sometimes more) happen to them.
Contents |
Types
There are a few categories of teenagers:
Jocks
Jocks are behind in mental development, but make up for it with physical prowess. They usually persuade nerds to help them with academic busywork, usually in the form of threats or wedgies. Although they are pretty dumb, they still manage to score a lot of pussy. Jocks get bored of pussy relatively quick, and eventually end up humping each other out of curiosity.
Nerds
Nerds are like backwards jocks; they are behind in physical strength, but are naturally gifted when it comes to making dioramas and writing theses. Nerds usually spend most of their time playing World of Warcraft or editing Wikis. Nerds sometimes play sports, but it's usually tennis, golf, or something else equally gay. Though they can think up solutions for virtually everything, they still struggle when it comes to scoring drugs or getting laid.
Preps
If you take one nerd, one jock, and a huge wad of money, and mix all these in a blender, you get a prep. Preps usually bribe teachers for grades, jocks for protection, and stoners for drugs. Preps sometimes have their own personal mexicans to clean up after them. Most female preps are sluts.
Stoners
Stoners don't really do anything except smoke pot, annoy teachers, and do impressions of "Cheech & Chong". Stoners usually display physical activity through skating; they end up with injuries, but the abundance of THC in their blood serves as an effective pain-killer.
Goths
Goths have the physical strength of a nerd and the ambitions of a stoner. Goths idolize death, so they wear all black attire, adorned with chains and spiked bracelets. Goths also wear black lipstick, black nail polish, and black eyeliner (even the guys). You will never see a black goth kid, because wearing all black clothes and make-up will make him look like a silhouette.
Emos
Emos are like goths without the chains and spikes and much more make-up. 
Emos usually cry about not getting laid, and listen to shitty, whiney, depressing music. They hate their lives,but don't have enough balls to committ [[suicide}} although they may go about threatening to do so for attention. Instead, they wear all black in the hopes that they will be gunned down by police. They commonly 'cut' themselves to relive the 'pain', because turning 15(the age where it usually begins) is so fucking hard. Most male emos are fags. and most Emo girls are bisexual whores who date other emo boys because most of them have vaginas anyway.
Criminals
Criminals usually get attention by annoying teachers and distributing pot to other groups of teenagers. Criminals wear tattered clothes and carry knives. 
They preach to other teenagers about how to be less stupid, but no one listens to them because they are criminals. Criminals usually get cigarettes for Christmas.
Basket Cases
Basket Cases do not talk, and love to make art. Basket cases like to spend their free time getting high and watching hentai. Although they are really perverted, they don't have a lot of sex. Some basket cases firmly believe in religion, aliens, or both.
Studies
An 80's documentary showed that if you take a prep, a jock, a nerd, a basket case, a criminal, and lock them in a library for nine hours on a Saturday afternoon, they will bond with hilarious results. The documentary also showed that janitors know more than we think. 
See Also:
(Note: Family Guy sucks because it uses stuff from the 80's for all its jokes.)
