Superman

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Superman is stupid.

Sometime before 1975 America was a fairly lame place, and the children had to get their entertainment from reading comics because their parents were too stupid to invent television. One comic book released in that year was Action Comics #1 containing a character called Superman. Children took to Superman like a Star Trek geek takes to naked photos of Captain Janeway.

In the beginning Superman wasn't as strong as he is now, but he got lots more powers over the years. Now days he can fly, is invulnerable, has x-ray vision, shoots heat rays from his eyes, is super strong, can super-weave, and is able to repress popping a super boner despite constantly being surrounded by half-naked super women. Superman loves to surround himself with other super people. It's kind of how the jocks in school hung around other jocks so they could gang up to use their strength against dateless nerds like you. Except in Superman's case he can also set those nerds on fire with heat vision.