Soccer
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Soccer is stupid.
Soccer is a worldwide sport, played by millions around the globe everyday. Unfortunately, worldwide doesn't include the USA. Therefore Americans stole the name football and gave the rest of the world soccer. Despite the name soccer is not played with a sock.
The origins of the game are shrouded by a dense, black, Dickensian smog. It is thought that it all began when an English nobleman decided to try-out a new form of entertainment. He strung together a rudimentary net and a ball made out of soap. Slowly he started welding the perfect implement to destroy the ball with. Once he had contructed his 'racket-maker' he declared that whoever hit the ball over the nett and into the eye-socket of the opponent would get 7 points. Unfortunately tennis had been invented the previous summer and proved to be a much more enjoyable sport. Therefore the nobleman invented soccer instead.
The game was popularised by the then Archbishop of Canterbury, Ronald. He unfortunately lost all of his fingers in a snow-balling accident and couldn't play catch with Martin Luther. Therefore he researched a new game and lo and behold, soccer was played! Ronald revolutionised the way the sport was played by inventing a move known as the kick. This manuovre became so popular that it is often imitated, even today! Unfortunately Ronald died, but his legacy paved the way for stars such as Roy of the Rovers and Diana Ross.
Fun Fact: Vikings are rubbish at soccer, so they invented trout fishing. Hoo-hah!
