Smoking

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Smoking is stupid.

Smoking involves a collection of carcinogenic leaves, addictive chemicals and hydrocarbons, all of which are incredibly efficient at damaging the human body, and which, despite this, are willingly inhaled by people directly into their lungs, whereupon said organs become covered with tar and ravaged with smoke until their bronchioles resemble the aftermath of a forest fire. Meanwhile, their arteries become so clogged with yellow fat they look like custard ravioli and their hearts wheeze every beat like a 90-year old man playing the accordion on a treadmill. Eventually they develop cancer, in the lungs or the mouth, or the skin, or everywhere, and die, in a certain amount of pain.

They also pay as much as $2000 (or equivalent local currency) every year for the privilege of this self-rape, and scream about personal freedoms every time anyone points out that they're bankrupting themselves in order to die of cancer. From this it can be surmised that smoking is the second most retarded concept ever, and smokers, far from being bastions of free speech who bravely defy the nanny state with their cool, relaxing cigarettes, are in fact imbeciles who pay an inordinate amount of money to smell of smoke, stain their fingers and skin yellow, and turn their lungs into shrivelled paper bags, which eventually develop into tumours the texture and colour of molten slag and cause their agonizing deaths, usually decades before their time, while in distant skyscrapers the billionaire CEOs of multinational tobacco corporations sleep surrounded by banknotes in gigantic beds made of the gold-plated bones of billions upon billions of dead smokers.