Slipknot
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Slipknot is stupid.
Slipknot is a band consisting of approximately one hundred and twenty seven members and are famous for having every single one of them wearing a silly mask. They're also known for being the only thing to ever emerge from the dark depths of Iowa.
They started out small and their fanbase was, if not the brightest, at least sincere and proud to call themselves "maggots". "Maggots" are to Slipknot what Juggalos are to ICP. A maggot is the larvae of a fly and what flies do is essentially hovering around lumps of shit all day long, so by stating you're a maggot, you're not only implying your juvenile status, but you're also saying you desire to spend your days eating and living in crap when you grow up. But a Slipknot fan wouldn't care, anyways, because they're SO FUCKING EXTREME!!11!!
However because of this really original mask gimmick, Slipknot got to MTV and, thus, huge so that stupid teens everywhere can listen to them and be bewitched by their enchanting anthems. One of their most famous songs, called "Before I forget", is even featured on Guitar Hero 3! So, now we can have all kinds of preppy idiots happily prancing around claiming to be "faggots" "maggots". Oh, the joy.
Style
Slipknot has a wide range of influences, but mostly Black Sabbath, Slayer, Judas Priest, Korn and that 90s classic vintage movie The Mask. Their style has recently being referred to by faggots as "New Wave of American Heavy Metal". But that's a stupid title. What they are basically is nu-metal. And that means that they're as bad and noisy as just any average metal band but with much less skill with them darn instruments (except if you count black metal, which is pretty similar if you stop to think about it, with all the silliness), which translates into the songs saying: look, I was supposed to put a blazing guitar/drum solo here, but, since we can't, why not settle for a nice, refreshing, noisy turntable solo?
Of course, that doesn't mean anything.
Lyrical themes
But if the songs aren't exactly what you'd call well-written, it is through their lyrics that the band truly shines. How can one overlook such classy and intelligent poetry such as in this piece:
Snap
by Corey Taylor
One more time and I'm gonna snap x 15
One more time and I swear I'm gonna
SNAP! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)I'm gonna
snap! (I'm
gonna snap) Gonna snap! ( gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna
snap)I'm
gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)
I'm gonna snap! ( gonna snap)
1, 2, Look out behind you
Bitch, gonna be on all you
Peace suffocates their freedom
This'll better me, a part of me
You were a par and a nag
Thinkin' that you lost, my friend
It doesn't matter what price, you win
Blood, sweat, and bastard-size
Stare into the killer in your eyes!
Besiege me!
I kiss your cancer
Deceiving, this doesn't matter
Becoming degraded, dated
Behind me, one more
I swear I'm gonna Snap!
(I'm gonna snap)
I'm gonna snap!
(Repeat 3456754245 times)
This, my friends, is the work of a true genius. Observe the fresh metaphors, the vivid imagery, the rich sounds, the alliterations and assonances. And all this repetition gives its deep message a sincere emphasis. T.S. Eliot, Cummings, Pound, they would all cry out in shame in front of this modern, free-verse, masterpiece for not having thought of it themselves.
And this absolutely original rebellious feel pervades all of Taylor's poetic work, as well as the themes of being "misunderstood", "how power reflects a person" and how they and their maggots should all strike together and pull down "the man." "If you're 555 then I'm 666" brilliantly states the Heretic Anthem.
They also demonstrate, very directly, their geniality and deep philosophy in "People = Shit". However, what they did overlook was that if people are, in fact, equal to shit (and they might actually be if you follow the philosophy of the song "The Cycle of Poo" by Hankey), their fans are maggots who'll be flying over shit (and therefore, people) when they grow up. And this is non-sense, but perhaps exactly what they were aiming at: pure nonsense, as if saying that the modern times are nonsense.
What they also overlooked when stating this was that they are too people. And, therefore, also shit - masked shit is still shit as far as I know. Unless, they are not people. In which case, and judging from the way they jump and shake around and sometimes fling poo when playing, they might actually be monkeys, and that would totally explain the masks, as hiding their secret identity. If this is true, then consider the blatant, pompous sarcasm of the previous paragraphs removed and allow me to sincerely congratulate them for being so talented and persevering despite the limitations of not having an opposable thumb.
