Singularity
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
The Singularity is stupid.
Forget about The Rapture: there is a new pre-end-times sheriff in town, and his name is The Singularity.
Faster than a speeding Jesus, able to leap tall potential hills in a singular (haha) bound, this relatively new meme cum wishful thinking on the human event horizon is a specific point of time in 2045 when human capability will be profoundly and disruptively transformed. At a bare minimum your pants will be forcibly relocated to the ground, so be sure to wear clean and untattered underwear throughout 2045.
Contents |
The Prophecy
There seems to be no procrastination from doing anything of genuine lasting value like that afforded by improvising cacophonous semitone melodies to the high-tech power chords of genetics, nanotechnology and robotics. Yet one tone deaf voice has risen above all others in the socio-sexually-deprived wilderness from which such stupidity tends to emerge, namely that of one sad and sorry-assed Ray Kurzweil.
The dedication of our dear Jew Raymond to this trinity of themes culminated in his publishing 600 plus pages of rambling conjecture, accompanied by countless annoying logarithmic graphs, and a boundless love affair with the notion of exponential growth that would have made the author of the Old Testament Book of Numbers scream "Uncle!" in surrendering to a clearly superior force of monotony.
Oh, Ray! Was your inability to secure a pleasurable role in the reproductive wing of old school biology - which you so obviously despise - so acute as to drive you from the bleating and lowing of your own kind into the nand-ing and nor-ing embrace of semiconductive sluttery?
Ray's prophecy is formally known as, "The Singularity is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology", and can be found in the sleep-aid section of any drug store.
The Underlying Mechanism
The Singularity is coming because everything in the universe - except the odds of M^3 getting laid anytime soon - grows at an exponentially increasing rate. That includes everything from your mom's moustache, to the degree to which Jews own everything in the universe. Not being aware of this marks you as not knowing the knee of an exponential curve from your ass.
The Music
It doesn't take a PhD in 3-D molecular computing to see this Genetic, Nanotechnological and Robotic wet dream as the groundwork of a well orchestrated marketing scheme by Guns 'N Roses for their 2045 comeback tour. Welcome back to the jungle, Ray, you silly music industry dupe.
Book 'Em, Nano
So you have a few rowdy genes or biological pathogens putting a crimp on your bid for eternal life? Not a problem. Assuming you live to see The Singularity, your bloodstream will be crawling with nano-bots consisting of nano-computers and nano-assembers busily nano-engineering precious nano-ounces of nano-cure. Undesirable nano-scale nano-particles will be nano-filtered by nano-membranes into nano-containers, where these nano-composites will be nano-neutralized to produce harmless nano-materials for nano-reuse, perhaps even for resale on Nano-bay.
Singularitarians
Singularitarians look forward to being profoundly and disruptively transformed, as well as suddenly having more free access to porn and copyrighted digital content than USENET currently provides them.
