Sesame Street

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Sesame Street is stupid.

It is a cult run by puppets created by the evil corporate media. Only moderately successful, as its only participating members are midgets, retards, and small children.

Cult

Any part of life which includes temporary enslavement fits into this category. Because Sesame Street has dangerous hypnotic powers, it easily enslaves those who accidentally view it. Older Americans, Arabs, and Jews have developed avoidance techniques based on reality TV, the Muslim faith, and money respectively and are therefore able to avoid viewing the show and being accidentally indoctrinated into this cult.

Puppets

Sesame Street is controlled by Fox. Fox executives want to avoid looking like fags and therefore attempt to distance themselves from their favorite toys and alter-egos by broadcasting this show on PBS instead. The main accountant at Fox is some retarded goth who can only count to ten, so when he's counting he pretends to be a vampire to compensate for his inability to add, subtract, multiply, or divide. The chairman of the board of trustees has a canary fetish, so when he plays with puppets his favorite is a giant, feathery, yellow blow-up doll. His secretary is a fatty with anorexia with a blue hooker wig. Her favorite puppet is blue, and while she used to eat cookies with it all the time her toy alter-ego has developed anorexia and is on a terribly destructive crash diet. Hopefully they'll both die soon. The most charming of all the execs is a red-headed pedophile who pretends to be Santa Claus and has little kids sit on his lap and tickle him. Because he only likes having sex with elementary-school-aged children, he is the most effective recruiter in the 0-5 year age range. The hobo who lives outside the administration building also has a puppet, and he likes to play, too. Because none of the other Fox employees like to play puppets with him he is mean and only plays in the Fox trash cans. There used to be a couple of homosexuals who played naughty fag games with their puppets, but the others at Fox thought they were being a little two obvious and kicked them out of the playground but still allow them to participate in the cult.

Viewers

Because American adults, Muslims, and Jews have all developed avoidance techniques and school-aged children don't like having sex with scary men in furry red suits, most of the viewers of the show and participants in the cult are between 0 and 5 years old. They are merely hypnotized for a brief period of time and for several hours a day repeat what they've heard the Fox staff on the show say. Other viewers and cult participants include retards and midgets because the show affects them the same way it does young children and they have no resistance.