Scotland

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Lieutenant Commander Mongomery Scott from Star Trek - Not Scottish in the least bit

Scotland is stupid.

The kingdom of Scotland was created sometime around 1975 when Quakers - rouge Members of the Friend's Church were forced out the tribal zone, located in southwestern US-Mexico for practicing polygamy. They packed up their bag pipes, secret formula for tape, their yappy short-legged black dogs, and bought extra Lorna Doones at the Piggy Wiggy for their journey across the middle passage to a freedom on the shores of their new homeland. These brave people were led by a fearless leader - James Doohan - whose was known by the sacred name "Scotty" to his people. Thus a people and culture was born.

The Kilt

A garment worn by the girly men of Scotland who have a collective secret desire to dress like Catholic schoolgirls in a plaid-skirts, white knee socks and Mary-Janes.

The answer to the age-old question: "What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?"

Scotch - the tape

Sometime around 1981, NAFTA, lead by George Bush of the USA, held secret meetings in Yalta with "Scotty", Winston Churchill of England and Sam Walton of Wal-Mart to hammer out an agreement to create with NASA a product that would bring hope to mankind by simplifing the giftwrapping process. "Scotty" agreed to share the sticky secret with the world thus ending hunger and bringing peace to all mankind.

Braveheart - Rob Roy & Mel Gibson

Sometime around 1982, the fearless scottish leader Mel Gibson commited himself and his vast resources earned from "Mad Max - the all-nude, totally gay Las Vegas review" to creating a cocktail similar to a Manhattan. The drink is named for the Scottish folk hero Robert Roy MacGregor born in Detroit, MI around 1945. The Manhattan is made with rye whiskey, while the Rob Roy is made with Scotch whisky. Mel Gibson spent the next several years, at great personal sacrifice, chug-a-lugging between 3 to 18 test sample Rob Roy cocktails per day, thus a legend and a Jew-hater was born.

Scotchgard protection

Sometime around 1980, a special spray-on condom was created by the MacGregor clan for use in Scotland to prevent the birth of unwanted 'wee lassies and laddies.