Science Fiction

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Science fiction is stupid.

Originally the term science fiction referred to a literary genre in which modern science and technology were integrated into a fictional plot. Today science fiction has come to refer to pretty much any story that takes place in The Future and involves some sort of talking computer.

Background

Science fiction was developed sometime before 1975 in order to prevent nerds from realizing that they could potentially take over the world. At this time the future of nerds was uncertain; despite above average intelligence, they were plagued with the social skills of a sponge. All across America nerds began filling colleges and universities, and it was becoming clear that they would soon hold all of the best jobs as well. Once they had stable employment it would only be a matter of time before they emerged from their parents' basements to pursue their 'final frontier': pussy, and with this they would become unstoppable.

Keep it in your pants

Thankfully science fiction saved us all from this bleak future of nerddom by permanently moving pussy just out of their reach. It did so by creating this fantasy that somewhere, perhaps in a galaxy far far away, a society exists where people are not judged by appearance but by the amount of useless knowledge they have acquired, and as a result even guys like Napoleon Dynamite would be cool enough to stick it in Dr. Crusher's crimson box. When they realized that this utopian society did not exist they decided to create one. Thus the internet was born, a place where looks didn't matter, people could joke about Java and Perl, Mac users could be ridiculed for their incredibly small penises, and Linux users could pretend not to be bothered by the fact that they just spent months setting up a computer that can only run the shittiest programs on Earth. Finally this group of outcasts would have a place where they could be themselves, and perhaps even get laid. Unfortunately it turns out women don't think Perl jokes are funny, but by the time anyone realized this, USENET had already been invented thus rendering actual women obsolete.

Science fiction for dummies

Science fiction isn't just for those who can read anymore, now the functionally illiterate can also enjoy science fiction in its latest form scientology. In what can only be described as pure genius, Elron Hubbard observed that sci-fi fans were like dark matter, they both tended to clump together (however only the former find lame references to astrophysical phenomena funny.) All Elron really had to do was come up with a few stories about aliens that only the dumbest fucks in America would ever swallow, create some kind of pseudo-hierarchy bullshit that his loyal fucktards could progress through, buy $15 worth of spare parts at radio shack, and his cult would basically form itself. While all religion is essentially fiction and thus stupid, Scientology is essentially science fiction and thus incredibly fucking stupid.