Reunions
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
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Reunions are stupid.
Family reunions are uncomfortable but tolerable, sort of like wool sweaters. The truly stupid is the Class Reunion. There are four stages of reunion stupidity.
1. We are in denial. "I will not go to my ten year reunion, reunions are stupid."
2. We become angry. "Who cares about the stupid reunion. I don't even care about those people. Those people are stupid."
3. We get emotional. "Why aren't the stupid people talking about me on the stupid reunion webpage? I'm important. Love me, miss me stupid people!"
4. We accept. "I look great. All the people will love me. I will go to the stupid reunion."
After the four stages have run their course, we spend a month "eating more intelligently" and working out everyday for 4 hours. All this is done in the hopes that our efforts will result in a magic morphing of the current body mass into that slim shadow of a figure we so proudly displayed in highschool. Note to self: French fries and milkshakes everyday for lunch don't quite metabolize like they used to.
The stupidest part of all is the fact that we share all the stages of reunion stupidity with those who spend time talking to us. They will offer cousel, "Just go to the stupid reunion. Shut up and watch the movie."
Now watch out stupid people. The stupidest is on her way! Update in two to four weeks.
