Philosophy

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Philosophy is stupid.

Philosophy is, simply put, the attempt to explain why everything is so stupid. Philosophy started out sometime before 1975 when Rene Descartes used it as a parlor trick to prove that nothing really existed. Alarmed by his success, he set out quickly to prove that he couldn't possibly be right, and failed miserably. The best he could come up with was that he alone existed, because if he didn't exist he couldn't ask if he existed ("I think, therefore I am"). Unfortunately for the rest of us he was unable to prove that we exist and so reality now hangs in a limbo inside the remnants of the psychic energy of Descartes' mind.

Eventually Immanuel Kant came along and said basically that it was ok that nothing existed and we should direct our energy elsewhere instead of worrying about it so much. Ayn Rand came along and wrote 1300 books about what a moron Kant was. Somewhat later Wittgenstein came. Wittgenstein focused his entire life on the problem of language, and concluded that since we could all communicate with language, we were all stupid.

Thus we have the ultimate knowledge that has been the holy grail of Philosophy all along: absolutely no answers at all. You would do better to go back to calculating pi.