Paris Hilton
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Paris Hilton is stupid.
Paris Hilton is stupid in a way few people realize. Not in the soulless, disease ridden, bug eyed, drunk driving, chiwawa loosing, cum guzzling, sasquatch feet having way. Paris Hilton is stupid because she doesn't actually exist. Seriously, have you ever seen her with your own eyes? Paris Hilton is nothing but a figment of the media's overactive imagination.
Origins
George Bush actually created the idea of Paris Hilton. Bush did this to create a media frenzy that would distract the press from the 8 day war against France. The name Paris was chosen so that if anyone was actually searching for news of Paris France during the war they would inevitably end up running into Bush's Paris story instead. See, never heard of that war till now have you?
The initial Paris film was mostly a green lit CGI film made to look like armature porn. The idea was that the film didn't need to be that good. Consider the sloppy CGI work on Paris's face and the leftover feet from the movie Shrek. All that really had to be done was to give it a good back story about a spoiled rich girl.
Once the media saw the popularity of the Paris story they began making up their own stories and using better special effects.
"Paris Goes" Series
Every time there is a slow news week or something the government needs to cover up we get another episode in the Paris Goes series. This is following the popular model set by the "Ernest Goes" films.
- Paris Goes to Amature Porn.
- Paris Goes to Redneck land.
- Paris Goes to bulimia camp. Kinda copying Ernest.
- Paris Goes to Jail. Directly copying Ernest.
Justification for Jihad
Why do the terrorists hate us? Why must they strike the infidels down? They're douchbags. But they also recognize that Paris Hilton must be stopped at any cost. Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Barack Hussein Obama's closest personal and religious advisor notes, "...chickens came home to roost, we got what we deserved on 9/11. Paris Hilton must be dealt with swiftly and decisively, even if it means blowing up every white person on earth along the way. Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea."
Realizing this, in the year 2005 the CIA recruited Nicole Richie, based on her fantastic investigative reporting in "The Simple Life" to being hunting for Osama Bin Ladin. This mission has driven young Richie to the point of maddness, her burning desire to spare Paris from the fate she so clearly desirves motivates her every action and outfit choice.
