Oliver Stevenson
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
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THIS ARTICLE SUCKS AND CANNOT BE MADE TO NOT SUCK |
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Oliver Stevenson is stupid.
Oliver Stevenson is a musician of considerable talent, but only started writing and performing music after a series of failed jobs and projects, including being a clown, eating sea otters and working as a D&T Technician.
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Biography
Oliver was born in 1988 in a shack in Algeria, when he lived until he was seven. Through a series of letters written to his aunt (the now famous Tarja Turunen, ex-vocalist of goth band Nightwish), we can discern that he enjoyed Laughing Gas, novels about poltergeists, and Optimus Prime collectable figurines.
At the age of seven he moved from Algeria to France, where he met Chris Wright at an audition to play a male stripper in the French film "Ma Cheese Izz From Le France!". Although neither got the part (it went to Gary Barlow), they forged a friendship which was to last forever. They had become forever friends.
Stevenson and Wright moved from France when they were just eleven years old, to their current homes; Chris in Trent and Oliver in Sheffield. But it was the meeting in la France that helped them become world famous.
spAzm
On his 14th birthday, Oliver recieved a 47kg hamburger, inside which was hidden a bass guitar. Rumours suggest it was given to him by the author of the best-selling "Bass Guitar Masters Anthology", but it was actually donated by the author of Absoloute Beginner's Bass. Using his new mighty bass guitar, Stevenson and Wright formed their first band, spAzm.
The lineup consisted of Stevenson, Wright and drummer/professional skier/hat salesman Will Fowler, who's Eskimo mother forced him to learn drums or face off against a seal. The band stayed together for 11 months, during which time they fired two managers (Craig David and David Craig, who turned out to be Craig David in a stupid disguise), played over six million gigs at the Sheffield Boardwalk (occasionally without telling their drummer), and released an album, called @ The Crescent.
@ The Crescent tracklisting
- Hacking The School Server Is Crap
- The Space Bass Race
- Google Virus Anthem
- Abouzeid Chemistry Ballad
- French Trip Medley
- Anti-Flag!!!
- French Trip Medley Part II: The Miracle And The Sleeper
- Piczo
However, spAzm broke up after just eleven months as a band due to musical differences.
Other Jobs
Stevenson has had a variety of jobs, including;
- Pie Salesman
- Pie Eater
- German
- D&T Technician
- D&T Lab Cleaner:
- Head of Cleaning
- Deputy of Cleaning
- Trainee Cleaner
- Bass Guitar Teacher
- Bass Guitar Student
- Bass Guitar
Project Trent Get Back At
According to his official sky signal network, Chris Wright has agreed to try a new project with Stevenson. (Will Fowler is unavailable since his position as the new Nightwish vocalist). The duo have not yet released the name of their project or the name of their new drummer, but they have come up with the title "Project Trent Get Back At" until a new name is decided upon. It is rumoured the first track will be a cover of a James Blunt song featuring Matthew Cullen on lead vocals and goes under the title "I'm Beautiful".
