Nuts

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Nuts are stupid.

Nuts are fruits of the nut tree, and come in many varieties, including chestnuts, walnuts, hazelnuts, grapenuts, almonds and Ted Koppel. Contrary to popular belief, the conker, or horse chestnut, is not in fact a nut, but a mutated variety of loganberry, which has over time become hard, grown a spiky green shell, and become inedible.

In addition to this, "nuts" is also the medical term for the reproductive organs of the male body, also known as "testicles", "balls" and "Peter Jennings". These are also stupid in that they're incredibly important, and incredibly sensitive, and yet they dangle below the crotch, suspended only by a thin sac of skin which also provides the only natural protection against some jerk kicking you square in them. This bizarre setup has caused many a man to yell, "WHAT THE FUCK, EVOLUTION?", often while clutching his groin. The only solution is to wear a metal codpiece at all times, except when expelling certain substances, and\or engaging in sexual congress.