You

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

You are stupid.

You are probably also an asshole or an Internet whore, but we'll deal with that elsewhere. Nobody cares about your stupid opinion, or your stupid website, or your stupid incessant whining about your stupid life. OK?

Contents 1 Quantifying your stupidity 2 Things you can do to not be stupid 3 Occupations for you as a stupid person 4 Thing you, as a stupid person, will never get to do

Quantifying your stupidity

• As expressed by the amount of gas required for a miniature motorcycle to complete one revolution inside a Cheerio. If this gas were brains, you wouldn't have enough.

• By the fact that it takes you two hours to watch "60 Minutes".

• Because when you tried to drop acid, the car battery broke your toe.

• Despite what you think, Taco Bell is not a Mexican phone company.

• You sold your car for gas money.

• You took a ruler to bed to see how long you slept.

• At the Pepsi challenge, you chose JIF.

Things you can do to not be stupid

We're afraid that this condition is permanent. You could, however, hang around a bunch of smart people (like us) and thereby appear not as stupid.

Occupations for you as a stupid person

• Tackling dummy

• Crash test dummy

• Kid Rock

• One of those folks that sit outside at intersection selling newspapers to people who are too damn lazy to get out of their cars, walk into the store, and get the paper their damn self!

• One of the people why buy the paper in this manner
  

  

  You

• FOX News anchor

• 43rd President of The United States of America

• Religious person

• Soldier

• Cardinals fan

• Presidential Candidate

• Mop

• Rap/Hip-Hop Artist

Thing you, as a stupid person, will never get to do

• Understand sarcasm, irony, or satire

• Say, "Oh, I get it!" with any degree of conviction

• Overcome your enthusiasm for NASCAR

• Raise your IQ above that of the average traffic cone