Midichlorians

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Midichlorians are stupid.

Midichlorians, intriduced to the world in the movie Attack of The Phantom Sith, are how creatively bankrupt but newly religious George Lucas explains away the mystical Force a-la Dean Koontz. You know, it all SEEMS mystical and stuff, but it's really just these powerful microbial life-forms and it's all like, you know, science and stuff. This way, George no longer has to feel guilty about creating an energy field that is clearly inspired by demonic teachings that fly in the face of the One True God. Similarly, George made Greedo appear to shoot first in the remastered DVDs of the original Star Wars, so it wouldn't look like he had written a character who was an outlaw, a smuggler AND a cold-clooded killer (just an outlaw and a smuggler).

The problem with midichlorians is that they are stupid. I mean shit, let's be real here. Take Darth Vader. This is a guy who had all his arms and legs cut off. Hello? How much blood (and therefore, midichlorians) is left? How come Vader is still just as powerful as he ever was? It's all very lame.