Mexican
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Mexicans are stupid.
Mexicans are shiftless and dirty. They come from a dirty nation called Mexico. Most Mexicans make and distribute what they call chicle or what Americans call gum. Due to the flooded chicle market, many Mexicans try to enter the U.S. They frequently resort to crime to pay for their numerous offspring. 
They also make tortillas. And Tamales.
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How to identify a Mexican.
They're alike.
Mexicans are brown-skinned and speak Spanish. Mexicans are beasts of burden that travel in herds - they are seldom found in groups smaller than five. Mexicans are genetically predisposed to live with no less than eight people per 1000SF of living space. No lone Mexican has ever been sighted - they must, as a rule, travel as a pack to swapmeets for expired baby food, laundromats and third rate supermarkets that accept stolen foodstamps. They will go to these places with at least three children, two cousins (one must be named Lupe) and an aging parent. Most Mexicans will plant a St. Anthony in the yard that if their daughter is not knocked up by age 15 to appeal to the heavens for mercy - no one wants a wallflower in the family. They prefer being outside to being inside, so they spend much of their time in their yards, using any housing available mainly for sleeping off the daily parties, or "siestas" they indulge in. These parties, like everything Mexicans do, are loud and obnoxious and feature lots of polka music, beer drinking, shooting fucking guns in the air and children running around screaming like rabid animals. Mexicans only drive cars that require constant maintenance, which they do in their driveway each weekend, along with three or four of their friends, one of whom generally has a powerful subwoofer and a taste for gangsta rap. Mexicans give no consideration to their neighbors. The thought that the neighbor might be inside trying to watch some Battlestar Galactica and is not interested in having the quiet scenes punctuated with polka music never crosses a Mexican's mind. Fuck Mexicans.
Este hogar es católico.
They don't use condoms.
Predominantly, Mexicans are Catholic. Tell-tale signs are minivans adorned with rosaries on the rear-view mirror as well as the Virgin Mary bumperstickers. Due to a complete rejection of proper contraception at the behest of the Church, swarms of children are always found swarming in the back seats.
They're also crazy witches.
Some Mexican women are healers, otherwise known as brujeras. These so-called healers use herbs, poison and divine evil spirits to defile tortillas. It is perfectly acceptable to point at one and shout bruja.
The Mexican hybrid - Jehovah's Witnesses
Since 1981, many a Mexican has shed their Catholic roots for an even stranger cult clubhouse - the JW watchtower! While research is on-going regarding this odd development, one thing is known for sure, there is nothing worse than a pack of Mexicans, all duded up in their Sunday best, actually coming to the front door and wanting to talk to whitey!
La cultura
La música
Mexicans from Northern Mexico listen to obnoxious mariachi tunes at the highest possible volume. For those ignorant of this particular genre of music, it can be identified for its use of the accordion, a falsetto sreeching "aii aii" and blaring trumpets. Southern Mexicans listen to obnoxious Mexican Polka tunes at the highest possible volumes. Regardless of what region of Mexico they are from, Mexicans tend to listen to their music at volumes that make you want to kill them.
La comida
Mexicans often consume tortillas, the core of Mexican cuisine. Rumours abound on how the tortilla was first created; however, not one theory explains the origin of the Mexicans' staple. One theory states the Mexicans created the tortilla as a pocket item, and it could be eaten while toiling in the fields. Taco Bell, a popular fast food chain, introduced the tortilla to whitey.
El Doorbello
Mexicans have their own type of doorbell.
En los Estados Unidos
¡Ven conmigo!
After a perilous trek across barren desert, Mexicans pour into cities within the United States. These Mexicans are identifiable due to their markings, and partly because they cannot speak English. Janitorial, landscaping, and housekeeping are the primary occupations for Mexicans in the US, as well as leeching the welfare system originally designed for niggers and white trash. Often, Mexicans crowd hospitals and schools, give birth to more children, while refusing to learn English. Whitey's main fear of Mexicans is that they will interbreed with blacks - the resulting offspring could be too lazy to steal, increasing the welfare burden.
Las cosas otras
Nombres
Mexicans are generally named Maria, Jesus, Lourdes, Juan, Pedro, Carlos, Bertha, Mary, Jose, Luis or Guadalupe. Others names are unquestionably rare, though usage of Fernando and Sexto have been reported.
Otra más
There are no famous Mexicans except Carlos Mencia. And the Taco Bell chihuahua who through his team of lawyers claims to have been been born in Canada and has ties to Celine Dion's Yorkshire terrier. They say stuff like "MI CULO ES GRANDE COMO EL DE CARLOS!!!!!!!"
