Message Board

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This is what you will most likely see if you are looking for a high quality message board.
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This is what you will most likely see if you are looking for a high quality message board.

Message Boards are stupid.

Message boards are the most accurate source of knowledge available on the internet, and if ever you require a 100% accurate piece of information about any subject, a message board should always be your first stop.

Contents

History

Origins

The first known message board was encountered sometime before 1975 by the famous explorer Mohandas Gandhi somewhere in northern India, and even though there was controversy based around the fact that the discovery was in fact staged, this event is considered by many to be a major turning point in the history of mankind; although message boards did not actually gain popularity until the introduction of homosexuality in early 1984, and then again when it was stolen and rebranded to use on the internet by disgruntled heterosexuals, the effect it has had on the development of the species is usually described as monumental.

The Message Boards of Today

The most common type of message board found on the internet is what is affectionately known as a forum (although those more proficient in the art of posting generally refer to it as a shitstain or drama-bomb), and it is today used to allow anyone from around the world to quickly discover what some nerd thinks about Star Trek or to inquire as to the proper usage of a salad fork, although it is claimed that there are less practical uses. The basic formula of a message board is as follows: the operator of the message board (drama queen) will create the facility using high quality software (vBulletin), internet browsers (fat slobs) will access the message board through a dialer such as TSCash or ACXInstall, and finally the operator will become frustrated and take their own life.

Influence

Culture

Although the intelligence of a message board user is extraodinarily high (it is usually claimed to be equal to that of an average Mensa member), it was not always so; in the early years of its use message boards where frequented mainly by scholars who were known for their harsh language and ape-like features. It has been theorised that had the message board not come into power and held it for so long, some of the world most celebrated cultures would never have come to fruition; and it is absolutely cartain that democracy was originally developed under these circumstances.

Society

Message boards have a very unique effect on society due to the way in which they allow a common individual to isolate themselves from all distractions, as the average user has huch more time and motivation to persue outside intrests such as parties and/or education; the main effect being that a message board poster is normally a well rounded individual who is willing to exchange unbiased well thought-out information with others while remaining a physically useful member of society. Indeed, it could be said that this technology has been the driving force behind such social revolutions such as breakdancing and communism.

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