How Joseph Smith Translated the Book of Mormon
The Book of Mormon is stupid.
The Book of Mormon is a novel written sometime before 1975 by Joseph Smith and his friend Oliver, a cute little orange kitten. It is the basis to the Mormon religion, which also studies other works of science fiction such as The Bible, and is same genre as The Koran, Dianetics, The Talmud, The Urantia Book, The Bhagavad-Gita, and The New York Times.
History
Background
This more or less sums it up right here
The Book of Mormon was written by Joseph Smith because he felt like The Bible wasn't confusing or verbose enough. While digging around one day using magic peepstones, he found a golden book along with even more magic peepstones. He then made up the contents of The Book of Mormon. The peepstones in question were most likely LSD and The Bible itself, since much of it comes directly from the bible.
A bunch of Joseph Smith's buddies claimed they saw the golden plates as well, kind of. At least they think they did, in a hallucination or something.
Synopsis
Completely accurate depiction of the Golden Plates and the seerstones by Trey Parker and pals.
The Book of Mormon starts out with a bunch of Jews in Isreal who are tired of running banks and movie production companies. They decide it's time to set out on a wacky-fun adventure and build a boat to go and colonize the New World. This they do, and hilarity ensues when God curses a bunch of people and turns their skin black, which is a constant source of amazing feats of back-pedalling by Mormon apologists decades after the book's authoring. Jesus Himself later visits the continent and everyone gets teary-eyed and Jesus says the exact same things he said in the Bible, therefore proving that the book is 100% totally accurate since it matches what it says in The Bible. Well, sort of. Jesus changed a few things, but it's more or less the same.
Fun Fact: The name "Mormon" comes from the latin word for "Old White Guys Running a Religion from a Desert Hellhole".
Popularity
Call now and two HOT YOUNG MEN will hand-deliver this book to you FOR FREE!
While the Smithsonian and other important archealogical instutions call it a bunch of bullshit, the book is rabidly popular among Mormons. The Book of Mormon is currently #99,538 on the Amazon.com bestseller list, which is sad because the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints prints millions of these things a day and reguarly dumps them by air over unsuspecting cities, and will send two attractive young men to deliver you a copy by hand, for free, if you so request.
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