Liberalism
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Liberalism is stupid.
Liberalism is a political term. It could be called a school of thought, but that would imply that liberalism involved thinking. It does not. Liberalism involves feeling. Liberals love you. To death. A liberal will give you the shirt off his back if you need it. Unfortunately, he will also give the shirt on your back to someone else if they need it, so long as he is convinced you have another shirt. Once we all have an equal number of shirts, we will have arrived in the liberal's version of utopia. George Orwell wrote about this lovely utopia in a book called Animal Farm.
Contents |
History
Not Really A Bad Idea
Liberalism started out as a pretty jolly good idea. The idea was that everyone should be nice to each other and that we should help each other out and that whether some dude wants to bugger some other dude in the ass is really nobody's business but theirs. These days, most people agree. What came to be classified as social liberalism is now nearly universally accepted, at least in part, in most Western countries. Towelheads, of course, will still chop off your dick for buggery, and they most certainly do not think that social liberalism is superior, which is, in large part, why America constantly has to go to war with them. Ironically, liberals love to fight for justice for the Islamists simply because they are not Christian. But more on that later.
So Everybody Agrees? Well Cool, OK, What About The Homeless People?
Liberalism began to go awry when it realized that people were cool with it. Sure, we had to recover from the plethora of sexually transmitted diseases that the sexual revolution brought us, but once we got over that, women started wearing their bras to work again and their salaries got bumped. Everybody was one big happy family. Liberalism began looking for something else to fix. In short order, it found the homeless, a group of mentally deranged freeloaders universally loathed by almost everyone, and felt pity for it. It decided that the only good liberal thing to do would be to make progress - that is to say, to make the homeless un-homeless. The problem was - and remains - that the homeless do not want to be un-homeless, thank you very much. They prefer living on the street and will you stupid fucking hippies please leave us alone? But the liberals wouldn't have it. No one could possibly want to be homeless, they would say, and they would do what they do in every single situation they find themselves in: DEMAND THAT WE INCREASE TAXES AND BUILD HOMES FOR THE HOMELESS THIS IS A FUCKING DISGRACE WE'VE GOT PEOPLE LIVING IN THE STREET AND THIS IS AMERICA FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Congress laughed. And thus begins the liberal fixation on the redistribution of shirts. Liberals believe that there is such a thing as too much money. For some inexplicable reason, all Jews are liberals, even though liberals hate Jews. Oh wai
FUCK ME SOME WAR MOTHERFUCKERS
Liberals hate war. Why wouldn't they? War breaks things, it doesn't make progress. War is mean. It kills people. How awful! Therefore, all wars, completely heedless of the rationale behind them, are bad, and we should never engage in them EVER. Unless a liberal president is forced to do it, but that's ok, because we know he doesn't really want to do it, and he will most likely only do it just a little bit. Liberals possess a babelfish gene that turns every possible permutation of "if we don't do it to them, they will do it to us - and we have historical precedent, Germany and Japan almost pulled it off" into "I WANT TO KILL BABIES FOR OIL BECAUSE I AM A BIG FAT SUV DRIVING BABY KILLER." Were it up to liberalism, we would all be speaking German and saluting the Kaiser and we would not be having this discussion, rest assured.
AND FUCK CHRISTIANS TOO
Christians often assert that men should not stick their dicks into the asses of other men. They say this because their holy book says so. Because of this, and various other affronts to liberal thinking, as well as their proximity to liberals and the fact that the United States is a nation made up mostly of Christians, they have become the target of much liberal ire. This is ironic, because Christianity is largely responsible for the way the United States was shaped, and so is indirectly why liberals are free to hate it. Liberals love any religion that is not Christianity, even if that religion would chop their dicks off.
Liberalism Today
In modern times, liberals have been largely unsuccessful at moving forward with the liberal agenda, because most people have figured out that they are a bunch of asshat sociopaths. So they have taken to using a new tactic that looks something like this:
WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE
The poster at right was made by a liberal to infer that one day soon enough they're going to get shipped off to internment camps just like the Nazis shipped off the Jews!!!! This is because liberals believe that conservatives are all a bunch of fanatic Christian nutjob zealots who, like the Islamists, really would LIKE to chop your dick off, but they just can't. They are mostly correct about conservatives, but wholly incorrect about America.
Something else should go here but I have run out of time.
1PS: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE THAT IF ANY OF MY CORE BELIEFS ABOUT AMERICA WERE TRUE I WOULDN'T BE HERE TALKING ABOUT IT, I'D BE FUCKING DEAD BUT DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME BECAUSE I'M A USELESS FAGGOT
