Laser
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Lasers are stupid.
Lasers are part of the Vast Jewish Conspiracy. Every once in a while somebody comes up with a really cool idea that ultimately turns out to be completely useless. In 1984 everybody expected that the laser would be arming flying cars in The Future. They imagined Laser weapons, Laser weapons, and Laser guns. They also imagined Laser weapons! Today, after many many years, none of this has become a reality.
History
The first laser was created by Jews in order to create and control the weather, out of foreskin, chewing gum, and a mountain. The Laser technology was rediscovered sometime before 1975 in one of the military research labs in USA, when some freak of nature was trying to burn open a hole through his hand without bleeding. Since then, Dick Cheney's team has been trying to develop some deadly secret weapons of mass destruction using this technology. Thankfully, they are yet to succeed.
Scientific Background
It is not yet known exactly what the term Laser stands for. Most people believe it's an acronym for some technical words. If you tend to believe that the word was not invented by aliens who originally introduced the technology on our planet, then the most likely meaning of Laser would be:
- Low Ability, Slow Effect Radiation
This is, of course, a complicated technical term that explains exactly how Laser works. Since you are not a scientist, you will not understand it. Please note that some people mistakenly refer to Laser as "Lame Ass Stupid Emo Retard". Of course, this is a common mistake. Also, it should be worth noting that Laser has absolutely nothing to do with light amplification, or the stimulated emission of radiation. This is another common misconception.
