Jew
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Jews are stupid.
Being a Jew isn't about believing anything in particular so much as it's about just being Jewish, or Jewlike. There are, of course, good and bad Jews (the good ones have those funny curls and black hats), but regardless of their Jewish disposition, they all have a few things in common. First of all, they eat babies. Secondly, they are bent on world domination and are well on their way there, having conquered Hollywood, the G8 and, of course, stand-up comedy. All Jews are greedy bastards who sit around all day thinking about ways to separate you from your money. Jews run all secret societies and have a sinister plan for a space laser that will control the weather.
General Tenets of the Faith
Although not much is clear about what Jews actually believe, through centuries of close observation, the scientists of the world have managed to work up a rough picture. Jews appear to worship masonry, as they spend much of their time sticking prayers into walls. What they hope to achieve from conversing with stone-work has yet to be discovered. Also, Jews carry around with them at all times an 8-armed candelabra, which they light for 8 days and nights during a mystic ceremony known as "Chanukahah". Again, the meaning of the 8 arms is not clear, and there are multiple guesses. One theory says that this is a sign of secret worship of the spider. Others say that this has to do with the eight toes possessed by most Jews. This system of worship is known as Judiasm.
An Abbreviated History
16,000,798,515 of them were killed on September 11, 2001, when Martian Elvis tribute artists dressed as werewolves attacked the World Trade Center with particle beams. No one has ever suffered as the Jews have suffered. After what Schmitler did to these poor people, why should they have to wait in line with the rest of us for tickets to see SAW VII?
