Jeff Goldblum
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
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Jeff Goldblum is stupid.
Jeff Goldblum was born in a peanut shell in Ithaca, New York in 1907. However, because of a chemical malfunction caused by early exposure to mustard gas in 1917, he has only aged to about fifty as of 2006. His early life was composed of collecting small, furry animals in a shoe box and putting on puppet shows with them, an activity that was halted when his parents confronted him about it and he killed them with a rusty spoon in 1940.
For a brief time, Goldblum was an actor in Hollywood who was most notable for saying the line "Must go faster!" in a couple of low-budget films, one which featured him portraying a fly and getting his head blown off with a shotgun. After that, however, he entered a downward spiral, becoming infamous for messing up his hair and watching people in public bathrooms as they pooped.
Today, Jeff Goldblum is living as a Chilean monk in the Andes mountains and hasn't been seen in over two years.
