Japan
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Japan is stupid.
Japan is a country populated exclusively by asian folks. This heterogeny, coupled with numerous nuclear bombings, has caused Japan to become the first country in the history of the world to go collectively batshit insane.
Contents |
History
Japan started out as a farming collective. Only through many long struggles did it emerge as the technological powerhouse and prime exporter of Hentai porn that it has become today. Long before Japanese women's orifices were being stuffed silly by multi-tentacled spacefaring octo-beasts, most Japanese people were humble rice farmers who only occasionally dabbled in sex. Their reticence to engage in copulation is easily explained by the notoriously small size of their penes, which also indirectly led them to attempt to conquer the world along with Hitler's Nazi Germany. They failed of course, bombed into submission by the United States, which in the 1940's was not an impotent hand-wringing bunch of liberal pussies.
Popular Culture
Television and Engrish
Japan has, in it's madness and creativity, provided the world with a number of interesting things. Their television consists almost exclusively of game shows in which vinyl clad homosexuals place themselves in compromising positions with girls of dubious age. They then scream things in Engrish, an odd Japanese version of English in which words and phrases are randomly strung together to sound as if they make sense, but in reality say nothing. Other game shows, such as Iron Chef, feature Japanese contestants cooking various types of fish with various iron implements which are then judged by a panel of diplomats. The loser of the contest is obliged to commit hara kiri, a ritual form of suicide, with the winner's blade. Also the japanese are obsessed with western culture, I mean have you seen those ganguro girls?! They are butt ugly, they dye their hair white blonde and put on hideous makeup to make hem look tanner, why can't they just be happy with themselves?
Cuisine
The Japanese refuse to eat anything that look remotely edible, instead opting for raw fish (which they call sushi) and various inexplicable canned items with pickled vegetables, fish eyes and pork organs.
Bukakke
As with their cuisine, the Japanese refuse to make pornography that is anything approaching watchable. The Japanese invented a new type of pornography known as bukakke, in which a woman whose genitals are studiously censored out using a mosaic tile filter kneels quietly while anywhere from a dozen to three thousand men (whose genitals are similarly censored) ejaculate on her face. Tell me you never sat back and was all like "goddamn, I wish me and a few hundred of my mates could bust a load all over some bitch's face." Uh-huh. Well the Japanese done BEAT YOU DOG.
