Ireland

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Ireland is stupid.

History

The small island known today as "Ireland" was once known as "Utopia" or "Omicron Perci XXIII". Ireland was first discovered by a European named, "Sir Thomas Moore", Michael Moore's great grandfather. The land of Ireland was found sometime before 1975 and was inhabited by small peaceful creatures which were called Leprechaun's. These Leprechaun's invented the first system of Socialism, Flying Cars, the Cure for Cancer, other life forms and became very close to creating the "Elixer of Life". Although around 1086 A.D. (which is of course before 1975), a man by the name of Shamus Corona invented a new drink called beer. This new "beer" drink was thought to be the "Elixer of Life" and so the peaceful government leaders decided on making thw whole country drink it, trying to foolishly making a country of "gods".

Yet, as we know it, fate had another plan. This beer actually led the country of Utopia, or Ireland into a state of civil anarchy. Soon buildings were destroyed, flying cars were crashed, laboratories burned, and new buildings set in place. After all buildings related to the advancement of science were destroyed, new buildings which were called "Pubs" took their place. P.U.B. stood for Public Unified Base, and they were created to further life by drinking beer all day. Unfortunatley, on May 22, 1306, the British walked into biggest city in Ireland with 12 soliders, at about 7 O'Clock in the afternoon.

Around 7:01, the whole island of Ireland surrendered and was placed under British rule. The 12 soldiers took the only not building that wasn't half destroyed, this was the known to the Irish as the Imperial Palace of Ireland, or to the British.. a post office. The British kept their 12 troops in Ireland until 1916 when the ancestors of those 12 guards decided to walk away from the post office and head back to Britain for "Tea Time". As soon as the British left, the Irish reclaimed their grand palace and exagerrated the "battle" quite a bit.

Today, Ireland's natives have become obsessed with the idea of greedy Capitalism and they will not even share "their pots of gold". This is why the original natives (Leprechauns) are rarely seen. Although, you still can see one native on the box of "Lucky Charms", yet even he has been corrupted into the Capitalist mindset and does not wish to share his own cereal to the millions of Irish inhabitants today which starve to death due to a new form of AIDS called, "Gorilla Aids".

Geography

Ireland looks exactly like someone took a shit in the ocean and then froze the shit for hundreds of years and then covered the frozen faeces with bright green paint. Ireland is thought to have orginially come from a giant meteor from space, which was launched by Overlord Xenu and his husband, Tom Cruise.