Iphone

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

iPhones are stupid.

The iPhone was created sometime before 1975 by the Illuminati leader Bill Gates. The iPhone's main purpose is to indoctrinate the consumer into believing they are cool and hip by purchasing proprietary technology that pales in comparison to any and all competitors.

Features

• The display turns into a smudgy piece of shit after five seconds
• No support for mp3 ringtones (in other words, no ringtones at all)
• Can not record video
• When the battery dies, you ahve to send the shitfuck to Apple, resulting in stolen phone

Inception

The birth of the iPhone came when a mafia of Vampire Lesbians, under control by Microsoft, needed an outlet to launder vast amounts of money. The problem was creating a company to do said laundering and make profit. The plan was for Microsoft to mask using their already shitty technology in a phone and be designed by the Vampire Lesbians. The overly feminine Lesboz would design the phone (which invariably makes you look like a fucking fag if you buy one), and suck your brain-matter from your head when making the purchase. The target audience for the iPhone, or anything from Macintosh, are Business Majors, sexually frustrated Teeneagers, and Lesbians. See Retard. Needless to say, the Vampire Lesbians soon died out due to lack of sustainable brain power to drain from their regular customers.