Hollywood

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Hollywood is stupid.

Hollywood is a city in California famous for creating pop-culture in the form of motion pictures. With no concern for anything but the bottom line, Hollywood is famous for turning out dreck that appeals to the almost lowest common denominator. They do not generally turn out dreck that appeals to the lowest common denominator, because those people can't afford to pay $12 for a bag of crappy popcorn and a small coke. Every once in a while, however, one slips through. One of the major attractions in Hollywood is its famous "walk of fame," which assigns stars to only the most accomplished Hollywood artisans.  

Life in Hollywood

Life in Hollywood is very different than life in the rest of the United States. In Hollywood, sex with animals in public is a common occurrence. The average income in Hollywood is $123.5 million dollars. Having this kind of money at your disposal distorts time and space locally, which causes everyone to slowly go insane. Everyone in Hollywood has lost at least part of their minds to this tragic overabundance. Evidence of this insanity leaks out to the incredulous public-at-large, who marvel at the names that Hollywood actors give to their hapless children (who, by the time they are old enough to speak, will be dead from drug overdoses or busy making their own stupidly named children):

Shiloh Nouvelle Jolie-Pitt

• Aramaic/French for "the new messiah" - score one for subtlety.

Bluebell Madonna Spice

• Yes, Ginger's. Named after Madge. If there is a God Bluebell will grow up and kill her mother, after which she will have her name changed to something that isn't retarded.

Apple Blythe Paltrow

• What the fuck is that?

Audio Science

• Crotchfruit of Shannyn Sossaman, who is so D-List she doesn't even rate a link on EOS. Hey Shannyn, "audio science" is a noun, you dumb cunt.

Fifi Trixibelle, Pixie, Peaches Honeyblossom and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Geldof

• One of these will revolt. Be assured.

Prince Michael I and Prince Michael II Jackson

• Sheer creative genius. Cheer up though, at least daddy will touch your naughty bits now and then!

Pilot Inspektor

• You can't make this stuff up. This one is the offspring of Jason Lee, who was in Chasing Amy.

Zowie Bowie

• Grew up to call himself "Duncan." Thanks, dad.

Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa

• Too easy.

George Jr., George II, George III, George IV, George V, George VI and Georgette Foreman

• Dad's name is George. Get it?

Kyd Leoni-Duchovny

• "Hey Kyd!" Brilliant.