Government (Thedreadedkettle)

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Governments are stupid.

In our corporate driven world today, we need something to keep some fraction of order. We need something bold, something that approaches seriousness. Something stupid.

This is where governments come in. Basically, every fuckin' country needs an inept, balding, 60 year old geezer with a hint of incontinence, incompetence and the inability to think things through logically backed by a whole armada of people, each with the IQ of a corpse. They claim to run your country for you while you sleep, work and bang your partner, but you just know they're stuffing their pockets with your money, as each and every blissfully unaware taxpayer finds out sooner or later.

Of course, they claim you have a say in what happens when the politicians are in session, but it just doesn't happen. Nobody gets a say, because governments consist solely of powerwhores.

They spend the whole session laughing at you and people like you, who take politics seriously. We both know it is a crock of shit, right?

Voting

Voting is the supposed system by which a new government is elected. Basically, it involves 12 or so people that do take the time out to vote, a split tally, and a cockfight to decide the winner. This method of deciding who gets to steal the money from the taxpayers has been used since sometime before 1975, when George H Bush decided that the formerly used system wasn't macho enough:

"Counting votes is for sissies."-George H Bush

The historically important quote (above) resulted in the Civil War between the North and South who were arguing over whether a cockfight or a monkey-knife fight would be more suitable. As it turned out, the South won and the cockfight was established as the method of preference for choosing the winner.

Different styles of Government

• Monarchy-Ruled by a King, usually a senile fuckwad;
• Democracy-See dictatorship;
• Dictatorship-See democracy;

What has the Government done for you?

• Spent your hard earned money on a luxury car for every representative;
• Frozen your bank accounts, and emptied them for you;
• Eaten your babies;
• Circumsized you;