Government (DoubleR)
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Government is stupid.
Government™ is a computer programme that was initially designed to patrol the internet and prevent BitTorrent users from just downloading and not uploading, the swines. Over time though the line between the real world and the fictional one became blurred thanks to cosplay goons really believing they can fly, and now the Government programme dictates life as we know it. Government itself runs off of human ignorance and M*A*S*H, due to the fact that they share a common bond through the medium of aeroplane mishaps.
Contents |
How It Works (Was RE: Homph Homph)
We All Live In A Yellow Submarine
Sometime before 1975 the illuminati company released a brand new programme for Windows that allowed them to evaluate the activities of humankind and adjust global world settings accordingly. The most ingenious component of the Government programme is the internet, which allows the Government developers to peek at your computer and see whether you have any Fall Out Boy albums to steal along with the mandatory spreading of propaganda. The internet also downloads updates onto your computer, most of which carry a high risk of disease. Unfortunately most people are lazy bastards and have automatic updates on, so all the useless shit fills your hard drive quicker than John Prescott hits the buffet table and/or passers-by. What? John Prescott. British deputy prime minister? Beached whale on valium? Cross between Desperate Dan and Frankenstein? Yep, found the level.
Nerds R Us
The Government programme is run by a large collection of sysops, who call themselves 'The Senate' to fulfil their rampant Star Trek fantasies. To a penny they are IRC goons who hilariously name themselves after dongs, vaginas and other random shit. The sysops are divided into two sub-groups that constantly bicker over trivial nerd issues. This comes to a head every four years when one debate is put to all the Gaia forums for debate. In 2004 the question was how many episodes of Battlestar Galactica there are. The Republicans correctly recognised that there are 50 (unaired ones don't count, fags) and consequently were allowed the exclusive rights to ban people from Earth. For the last year and a half Government has been utilising democracy, which has the administrators recruiting outsiders not rigorously trained using StealthLie to become sysops for the system. Having any old fucker as a sysop is clearly stupid and will result in disaster.
file:///C:/Documents%20andDONGS
Because Government is a universal programme, many different countries having configured the settings incorrectly. This often leads to countries furiously spamming each other with 'UR A BUNCH OF FAGS LOL' then 'NO U HOMO' dialogues. The obvious solution is to follow the British example of applying American settings to the system. This involves setting all security options to stupidly high (except the important ones), not reading your spam and spending all day making minute updates to your myspace account while downloading the latest episode of M*A*S*H (yes it hasn't run for 23 years, that's the joke you fuckwit, don't you understand comedy?)
The System Is Not Yet Down, But Might Be. We Don't Really Know Hablaghluagh Cocks
403 Error
Government has currently been running in safe mode for the last 59 years, as nothing works properly and you can't do anything without being shut down and re-started in MS-DOS mode, which means you should just kill yourself.
Viable Opposition
There is a constant opposition to Government, represented by a small group of hardcore Mac OSX users working in conjunction with UNIX developers to attack the Government programme's command line interface to create a security loophole that can be exploited with a wormhole attack to destroy the mainframe (I have no fucking idea what any of that means). Colloquially this is known as 'bringing down the establishment' (that makes even less sense). This hacking process is known as 'anarchy' and is especially prevalent in the UK apparently.
The Future (of dicks)
Next Gen Specs
An Illuminati company spokesman has stated that the beta version of Government 2.0 is being launched shortly, which will unite all users under one common system that will not crash every time you want to play solitaire. Unfortunately the programme deletes itself and sets the user's computer on fire whenever you use vowels.
SHIT GUYZ HOO DO I VOTE FORZ??????7
It doesn't matter you dumb twat, it's all a conspiracy of the digital age! Jeez go back to your jerkcity and Usenet faggotry you homo. Sod it, run c://findOsama one more time.
