Internet Shock Site
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Internet Shock Sites are stupid.
Internet Shock Sites were invented by God to punish humans for creating the Internet, a system of networked computers which made finding pornography and ordering drugs more breathtakingly efficient than ever before. The typical Internet Shock Site consists of various horrifying images of Internet Celebrities doing horrifying things to horrifying parts of their bodies, frequently in bathtubs. The images are usually vivid and can remain with the unfortunate victim for years to come.
Contents |
History
Origin
Internet Shock Sites started with the famed website goatse.cx. To the layman, this URL looks like it could be pronounced "goatsex," and so naive users would excitedly click on it hoping to see some good old-fashioned goat fucking. Instead, the website serves up a picture of a man, who has impossibly stretched-out his asshole revealing his gaping colon, right above his dangling junk. Let's face it, folks, watching somebody fuck a goat is one thing, but the audience for people who want to see a person's colon is pretty narrow.
Jaded
The original shock of seeing goatse.cx was extremely difficult to deal with. A five-step grieving process generally followed:
- Denial - "I couldn't possibly have seen that."
- Anger - "I could kill that guy for making me see that."
- Guilt - "If only I hadn't been such a goat fucker."
- Sadness - "I wish I hadn't seen that."
- Acceptance - "I wonder if my buddy Steve has seen that?"
But grief passes. Many years from the first sighting of goatse.cx, everyone on the Internet had seen it, and become used to it. And thus was Tubgirl born.
Why Japan is Full of Shit Eating Vomiting Schoolgirls
Fuck a doodle do. Just when you thought you couldn't be grossed out any more, Japan reveals that a sizeable portion of its schoolgirl population likes to shit and vomit all over itself and its fellows. How they pull this off is a closely guarded secret, rather like the ninja black arts, but pull it off they do, and no, you don't want to see it. Apparently, dropping the bomb on these poor fuckers really did quite a number on them.
Of course, to say that Japan has MORE shit eating teenage girls than any other country on Earth would be questionable, but Japan is the first country to set up a shock site entirely devoted to them.[citation wholly unwanted)
The Future of Internet Shock Sites
Flash
Future Internet Shock Sites will obviously have to increase in sophistication in order to trap increasingly savvy Web users. One popular idea is to use Flash applets with benign pictures of something ostensibly resembling Where's Waldo? that then explode into a high-decibel wav of some guy screaming HEY EVERYBODY! I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO! This is a good start, but only the Internet knows for sure where it will all end.
The flash thing is already rolling, how many of you people havent been sent a link to www.meatspin.com
I know I have, in a middle of a fight in a mmorpg.
