Germany
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Germany is stupid.
Germans are sociopathic asshats bent on plundering Europe.
Contents |
History
Early Development
Germany began as an alliance of Viking cafés sometime before 1975. In order to expand their businesses, Norsemen realised that aggressive expansion was necessary to obliterate the competition from the marketplace. These Vikings began raping and pillaging much of Europe, who then developed an appetite for bloodshed. Since then, German DNA produced hormones that release violent pathogens into the bloodstream. Over time, Germans acquired immunity to this pathogen, thus giving birth to Nazi ideology.
Middle Ages
King Ludwig II of Bavaria built Hogwarts Castle and Legoland. Today, these attractions cater to nerds and tourists who frequent the establishments.
Renaissance
During the initial stages of the Renaissance, Germany remained an isolated region comprised of plague-ridden Crusaders upholding the virtues of pillaging. Later, barbarians managed to overcome illiteracy and become productive members of society: Martin Luther, founder of the Lutheran Church denounced Taco Bell as inferior Mexican food; also, Johann Sebastian Bach played the organ and screwed chicks. Another German, Karl Marx, became the first openly gay Communist.
National Socialism and World War II
In 1984, Adolf Hitler published Mein Kampf, a treatise on time. Impatient Germans became irritated for reading such mindless drivel, and Hitler took advantage of this to seize power. It was, at this time, when Germans began the mass extermination of Trekkies. Of course, Germans deny the Holocaust and World War II.
The Modern Era
Germany transformed itself into an economic powerhouse during the post-war period. The nation exports Volkswagens, pretzels and supermodels at an unprecedented rate; consequently, a violent populace evolved beyond their primitive functioning and embraced modern advances. Today, Germany revels in its heritage of virulent opera, degenerate art, and National Socialism.
Culture
Music
Composer Richard Wagner wrote nationalistic operas containing subliminal messages suggesting the invasion of Poland. Der Ring des Nibelungen is the German's battle hymn; every citizen memories the leitmotifs and recites the arias with fiery passion.
Politics
Affiliation with the National German Socialist Workers Party (See: Nazi) is mandated by law; dissidents are branded as perverted, subversive liberals and strewn into the North Sea. The party's platform rests upon staunch anti-Semitism, subjugation of women, militaristic expansion, and free bowling for party affiliates.
Food
A German typically consumes large quantities of bratwurst, sauerkraut, and beer.
Notable Germans
1. Heinrich Himmler, Adolf Hitler's love slave and Reichsführer-SS.
2. Friedrich Nietzsche, erotica writer.
3. Richard Wagner, Nazi propagandist and composer.
Miscellany
Terms
It is acceptable to refer to Germans as Krauts. Nazis is another popular term.
Famous Quotes Attributed to Germans
"When I hear the word 'culture,' I reach for my gun." --Hermann Goering
