George Lucas
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
George Lucas is stupid.
George Lucas is a jew who is responsible for the Star Wars films and their subsequent remixes. He is a part of The Vast Jewish Conspiracy.
Contents |
Early life
George grew up in Texas with Dan Quayle. They both were into science fiction; for Dan's birthday, George wrote a story about a group of space explorers who rode the SS Enterprise. The story was so appealing to Dan that he vowed to become president so he could build his own spaceship. George tried to tell him it was just a story, but Dan was a retard.
College
George attended some college, and had a crazy time. This gave him the idea to make an autobiographic film, but was persuaded by the Dark Side (aka Jews) to give it a sci-fi twist that would make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. Being the jew that he is, Lucas took the Dark Side's advice.
The movie biz
Star Wars was a huge financial success due to the overabundance of nerds in this country. All the money they shelled out to see Star Wars gave George the money he was promised by the Dark Side.
George was going to work with some other guy to direct "Apocalypse Now", a pretty bad-ass Veitnam war movie. Instead, he left to team up with Steven Spielberg (another jew) to make "American Graffitti", a low-budget film about mexican kids who remove wheels from cars. They also made some other movies about a guy who travels around the world and fights nazis.
The movie biz remix
George noticed that many rap artists were making lots of cash with little effort. These rap artists would record one song, then make 20 copies of that song. The copies would then be slightly altered from the original, then marketed as something completely new. George was skeptical about the idea at first because black people came up with it, but the money they were making convinced him to remix Star Wars. George became even richer.
More remixes
George Lucas had used up his imagination on Star Wars and drugs, so he had to remix more stuff to get more money. He asked Steven Spielberg to help him remix "Raiders of the Lost Ark", promising Spielberg 40% of the profits, plus a free pair of Barbara Streisand tickets. Steven had forgotten to buy his mother her birthday gift, so he took George's deal.
Fin
Opponents of The Vast Jewish Conspiracy sent four young boys to stop the Lost Ark remix. George and Steven succeeded in producing the remix, but it sucked so much ass that it killed everyone
Tribute album
In order to financially compensate for the deaths of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, the leaders of The Vast Jewish Conspiracy released an album/DVD full of songs and bad CGI on sale for $39.99 at your local Wal-Mart. The DVD contains:
A film about George's time in college
Drunken Interviews
Footage of George beating Jar Jar Binks over the head
Darth Vader confessing sexual misconduct with Obi-Wan
A music track, featuring:
A New Hope
A New Hope (remix)
A New Hope (remix feat. Jar Jar and the East Side Boyz)
Return of the Jedi
Return of the Jew
Return of the Jedi (remix)
Reciept of the Jedi (feat. E.T. and Lil' Yoda)
Light side vs. Dark side (feat. the East Side Boyz, West Coast Hip Hop, Lil' Flip, Lil' Flop, and Hippity Hop)
Light side vs. Dark side (remix feat. the East Side Boyz, West Coast Hip Hop, Lil' Flip, Lil' Flop, Hippity Hop, and an intro by Michael Jackson)
A New Hope
An Old Hope
A Big Rope
An Old Pope
Warning
The album/DVD also comes with a 30-minute segment of the remixed "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Be warned, if you watch the remix you will recieve a phone call from a girl with laryngitis. She will tell you that you have 7 days left to live unless you watch the film at least once a week. Also, you must donate 5 dollars to The Vast Jewish Conspiracy every time you watch the film.
