Genius
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Genius is stupid.
What? Genius? I thought genius was the opposite of stupid. No, no it isn't. We'll discuss this along with having genius gifts and how not doing anything with them is well...okay. Stop for a minute. And listen: If you do nothing with the gift of genius if you do indeed possess it in some form, that my friends, is the greatest statement of stupidity that could ever be bestowed upon your moronic encephalons. Get it? Got it? Good.
Contents |
Don't Genius Live in a Lamp?
People often confuse genius with intelligence and booksmarts and all that jazz music. Well, no. See, when someone spews random factuals about how "cinnamon is a tree bark" and how "every woman has an internal penis", this may be impressive, but it is hardly genius. What is stupider, is when said impressed individuals mark their own intellectual tombstones by saying silly shit like "Oh wow, how did you know that?" and "Are you some kind of genius?"
Now, while spewing random facts like the chemical composition of Neptune's atmosphere is cool in the right scenario, it doesn't make you a genius. The knowledge of Neptune's atmospheric constitution hardly solves or helps anything as far as the macro-universal perspective. Does it get you a car license? No. Does it help you solve inner city crime? No.
What would really be a flashy show of genius, is if I decoded a complex algorhythm using only a sphincter, and a juice bottle. Oh and of course, my brain. Although, the brain working on an even subliminal level would see that there lies within this, a conundrum of epic proportions.
MacGyver
Consider the show "MacGyver". Well, using those things to solve an algorhythm would be highly unorthodox, and the juice bottle pretty much seals the deal. Now, considering the fact that I would be dopplegang-banging MacGyver by doing this, THIS cannot be a show of genius in that anybody who has EVER seen MacGyver would know that people with mullets, DO NOT HAVE BRAINS.
So, What The Fuck is Genius Anyways?
Think about it. But not too hard, you'll hurt yourself like last time. Genius is NOT the opposite of stupidity, intelligence is. Genius is simply the ability to think in an unconventionally, non-primate-oriented manner in which to solve problems or equations. Genii are also highly annoying to regular apes in that not only do they solve problems in unconventional manners, but they like to inconvenience people with problems, in everything they say. A genius may say something to this accord:
Normal Person Talk: "I want to eat this pie. I think I will." Genius Jabber: "I shall commit oral masturbatory super encephalus vacation slobber-wocky mastication by gobbling-turkey gobble-gobble this orgasmic lovely lightish-red amore-ai-koi-suru section of 3.1485497563789494785..."
We get it. You are going to eat pie. Pi. Haha. How clever. But while you were uttering this bullshit "clever" phrase, I was getting some quite delectable ass. Which you will never enjoy since you have to 'solve' pussy before you indulge in it. One of your sentences could go on for so long that by the time you were done speaking it, the bitch you wanted to plow would be long mummified.
Genii do weird things
Genii have very eccentric behavior. Actually, lets not use the word "Eccentric", since that deals with the laws of motion and really shouldn't be used to define any manner of activity the human mind may produce. They do weird things. Genii often commit acts such as sticking cats ears in their mouths and shopping for their clothes in stores who carry products that look more like attire for children suffering from gigantism. Red suspenders, bowties and pinwheel hats are often choice clothing for genii. You can spot one a mile away. If you do, please shoot it before it starts talking.
.Albert Einstein was a noted genius. And...look at him. Just look at him. Is that any kind of roll model?
.Current smartest man in the world is Stephen Hawking. Uhm...well. Girls do think dildo's for voices are sexy. 
.This Cat. Again, what?
.Rosie O'Donnell isn't a genius, but his tits are.
.Some Clowns are genii. But they like Pi, and not Pie. LOLOLOL
.Dr. Gregory House, is a fucking genius. However, he's also an asshole. Don't listen to him.
EOS asks you to donate to the "Help a Genius" Fund. It is a fund dedicating to normalizing these poor fuckers by mallets-to-the-head-daily. Please donate.
And the number one thing to remember after reading this article: The author who wrote this, is NOT a genius. But I think you know that already. (one-eyed wink)
