Five Minutes
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Five minutes is stupid.
Contents |
Definition
Five minutes is the amount of time it takes for most amusing things to no longer be funny. Although five minutes actually has meaning as a measure of actual time (300 seconds, etc) in Internet parlance it has a more nebulous definition that refers to the amount of time it takes you to finish your initial laughing fit at something that is pointed out to you and the first moment you become annoyed at someone for pointing it out to you YET AGAIN.
Grace Period
There is a grace period between laughing at something and being annoyed by it, and it is this period that meant by "five minutes." The idea being, of course, that everyone should be plugged-in enough to hear popular memes within six fucking months. If you are not, then you are stupid, and do not belong on the Internet anyway. Depending on the popularity of the thing you are late to point out, this grace period can vary from a few days to (at most) a few weeks.
Those who are chronically late to point out memes are referred to as being timeline. Timeline is a corollary to five minutes, it is a noun which is used as an adjective in a situation where someone is pointing out something that is so incredibly old the only logical reaction is to mock them until they cry like little girls.
Examples of Timeline
There are varying degrees of mockery for someone who is timeline. The more egregious the violation, the more horrifying the punishment. The degrees look something like this:
The First Timeline
<lamer> http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com ROFL <tired> so five minutes ago
The Badly Timelined
<lamer> http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com ROFL <tired> TIMELINE FAGGOT
The Egregiously Timelined
<lamer> http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com ROFL <tired> welcome to six years ago
