From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Email is stupid.
Email was originally invented in 1984 by Al Gore so geeky college students could talk about their amazing ""Adaptive Variances Of Marine Animals" research paper they were working on, with everyone they knew, wherever they were in the world, by using serious and descriptive .edu email addresses through the Internet.
It was only a matter of time before everyone else realised how wonderful this whole "Email" thing was, and signed up to various free email hosting on sites such as Hotmail, by using pointless and not descriptive, pussy email addresses such as Xx_Love69_xX and tehdevilrulez666, clogging up thousands of serious users inboxes with pointless messages such as "OMG LOLS COME ON IRC J00 N00B".
Many people still do not understand how email works, despite the fact they send emails everyday of their lives. The process begins straight after the "send" button is pressed. Hotmail (or another email provider) reads through their keylogs of your computer and find out when you started typing your email. They then print this information out and give it to a specially designated "runner" in the delivery department, who's sole responsiblity is to deliver this sheet to the Hotmail HQ nearest your intended recepient.
These runners are one of the worst paid people on this planet, earning well below minimum wage, and an average life expectancy of 9 years old. They will often travel many hundreds of miles, across deserts, snow, and many times across major oceans, in record time, in order to deliver your message. If, by an unfortunate accident the runner is killed, and your email is lost, their spirit will return to it's original HQ, and report to a the Head Deamon, who will send a runner to you, saying it was your fault the message was not delivered, because you spelt their address wrong.
