Douchebag
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Douchebags are stupid.
A douchebag is a self-righteous prick, usually middle-aged, white, and male, who preaches a set of morals that he himself usually does not follow (see Pedophile).
History of Douchebaggery
Origin of the Douche
The term "douchebag" is derived from the Douchist Movement of 1984. The movement began when a bunch of impotent, white Republicans became jealous of the younger generation's ability to enjoy rampant sexual escapades with the invention of birth control. With their own penes being as flacid as a worm on a stick, they lobbied for legislation that would inhibit the sexual desires of virile men and women. Their first success was the passing of the Douching Act, which required that women irrigate their vaginas before they engage in relations. And thus the Douchists earned their name. They also lobbied for Abstinence-Only Sex Ed classes that grossly misrepresented statics of the success rate of birth control (misrepresentation of facts would later be known as douching).
Downfall of Douchism
With the invention of Viagra, many Douchists betrayed their own anti-sex cause. They secretly bought bottles of Viagra and rented motel rooms with underage prostitutes (because their wives were fugly as shit) to relive their glory days. These scandals became known to the public when a 14 year old, Latina whore called the ambulance about her client's penis falling off after being erect for four hours. This dealt a fatal blow to the integrity of Douchism.
You FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!!!
Soon the pejorative term "douchebag" was coined, implying that if you douche (i.e. being a fucking hypocrite who tries to manipulate how people behave with lies), you will just be left with a now useless bag of testes.
Douchebags of Today
Though Douchism is believed to be long gone, there are many people who like to douche around and thus earn the title of douchebag. Many of them are in high political positions, douching like crazy. The only people stupider than these douchebags are the faggots that put them in office. Thanks a lot, retards!
