Don Imus
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Don Imus is stupid.
He is best known for talking out of his ass, and coming up with phrases such as "Towelhead" and most importantly "Nappy-headed ho". Also a vegan hippie.
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Life and Times of Don Imus
Donny boy was born in the jungle known as Riverside, California. He was a marine. His duties were catching fish for his community. He also drank heavily and chewed cocaine (until he learned to snort it).
He was also married to a hot piece of ass named Jane. But they divorced in 1984. Jane said it was because of Don's drug problem. She was actually afraid of Tarzan finding out about their affair. Naturally, after months of rehabilitation and masturbation, Don was able to quit using alcohol and cocaine. He still smokes, though (see picture at right).
Imus then married a regular piece of ass whose name I don't know. Both Don and his new wife are vegetarians, because they love vegetables (especially bananas).
Imus has had an "on again off again" job as a radio personality.
The Towelhead Thing
Imus and his gang of rascals were discussing the 9/11 attacks on his radio show, during their "80's music bonanza" portion of the show. When the show went to a break, Imus' friend asked him about his morning. Imus talked about waiting for his wife to get out of the shower, saying, "Took ya long enough, towelhead (referring to the way his wife wears her second towel)".
Unfortunately, the newbie technician forgot to turn off Don's microphone. Everyone listening to the show heard Don say "towelhead". And since it was during the 80's music hour, a lot of foreigners (mostly Muslims) were listening in. They thought "towelhead" was directed at them. Don got in a lot of trouble and was suspended from his job.
The Nappy Headed Ho Thing
The directors of Don's show realized they fucked up, so they let Don come back. Don and his crew talked about the oh so amazing WNBA championship during the "Rap and R&B jams" portion of his show. When the show went to a break, Imus and his pals had a discussion about Carrot Top. Don called him a "Nappy-headed ho".
Unfortunately, Mr. Valedictorian (whom the directors forgot to fire) forgot to turn off Don's microphone again. Everyone listening to the show heard Don say "Nappy-headed ho". And since it was during the Rap and R&B music hour, a lot of black people (mostly women) were listening in. They thought "Nappy-headed ho" was directed at them. Poor Donny was suspended from his show again.
Free Speech Debate
In the great American spirit of blowing things way out of proportion (usually our asses), a bunch of politicians began to talk about free speech in America, and whether or not we should say stuff or not. They all agreed that Imus should not say stuff anymore. Everyone else can still say stuff.
Where is he now?
Good ol' Donny boy sits on his ass at home, watching reruns of The Price Is Right (hosted by fellow corpse Bob Barker). When he's not watching bad TV, Don either cries, masturbates, or waits for his wife to get home and cook dinner. Sometimes he does all three at once.
The directors of his show are deciding whether to follow the "three strikes" rule and give Don another chance, or simply quit while they're ahead. (They still haven't fired that technician)
