Domino's Pizza

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Domino's Pizza is stupid.

Domino's Pizza sucks. It sucks tremendously. It is also gay. You might think that there's no way a pizza can be gay, but yes. Yes it can.

The Sauce

"Oh my God! Why is my house filled with tomato sauce? Oh yeah, I just ordered Domino's."

Should you ever get the idea to order a pizza from Domino's, be sure not to eat it. You will most certainly drown in the ocean of shitty sauce. "Why? Why is there so much sauce?" Well, when the dude that made the first Domino's pizza was creating it, he spilled a large jug of sauce all over it. His stupid asshole friend said that it tasted good. The guy never thought to try the pizza himself because he too was an asshole.

Sides

Domino's has a large variety of bland, unnecessary sides. Some of them are (fortunately) not available anymore, such as "Domino's Dots". "Dominos' Dots" were little round cinnamon sticks that came with a little container of sweet man jam. Anyone who's ever tasted their own snot in the last month (the vast majority) will have had a more pleasurable culinary experience than one would get from said silly side.

The sides currently available at a Domino's near you are Buffalo Wings, Domino's PizzaBuffalo Chicked Kickers (fried chicken with a side of buffalo sauce), Bread sticks, Cinna Stix (Misspelled bread sticks covered in cinnamon, that comes with the very same container of sweet white goo that Domino's dots came with), Cheesy bread (er, cheesy bread), Bread Cubez (Bread shaped like a cube), Cheezy cinnamon swirlz, chicken finger sauczors (saucer-shaped chicken that comes with "sauce-zors") and Bread-breadz (bread with bread crumbs - with bread). Credit must be given to Domino's, however, for being able to get two products and remake them five times. Oh yeah, they also have chicken-breads. Fucking yummy.

Delivery

Domino's delivers. What this actually means is that Domino's (after calling you several times to ask you for the same directions that you gave the first time) will send some 19-year-old kid with a lip piercing to bring part of your order to your house. You will probably call back to tell them that you would like the soda/cinna stix/Domino's PizzaBuffalo Chicked Kickers that you paid for and didn't get and they won't believe that one of their own employees could have fucked up. By the time you do get your soda/cinna stix/Domino's PizzaBuffalo Chicked Kickers your pizza will be cold. That Heat Wave did a lot of good. They went from "avoid the Noid" to apparently hiring the guy.