Cricket

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Cricket is stupid.

Cricket is an English game in which the aim is to fall asleep before the day is through. It consists of two teams that take turns batting and fielding in a fashion so confusing that even the umpires have no idea of what is going on. That is how a game of cricket is played.

1 The rules
2 Cricket on the world stage
3 Cricketting records
4 Cricket Trivia

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The rules

This is the basic cycle of the game of cricket

You have two teams of 42 people, who alternate between batting and fielding. No, not the people, the teams, you dimwit. When an individual is up to bat, he swings at the ball which is bowled by a person from the fielding side, and tries to hit it really hard. If he doesn't hit it, he will most likely cop a blow on the groin and fall down in a screaming heap of broken manhood.

When a batter hits the ball, and not the other way around, he has to run up and down a small strip called a pitch in order to score. If he doesn't, he doesn't score. And you need to score, otherwise you'll end up a lonely old man with nothing left but your virginity.

Once all of the people batting are out due to a strange unexplained rule, you swap sides, and swap wives. The winner is the team that scores the most, remember?

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Cricket on the world stage

Most Americans have no idea what cricket is, but it is comparable to Baseball. Except that cricket is played by more than one country, is more boring, is more British, and is all-around crap. But that doesn't make it that different to Baseball, does it?

There are a few main cricketting nations, including: