Chav
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Chavs are stupid.
Inexplicably, there exists a subculture of youth in England who think that burberry track suits, baseball caps and accessories coupled with copious amounts of fake gold bling make them so amazingly cool that they can smack you in the face just for fun (and they do, calling it happy slapping - now don't you feel better?). They are called chavs, dear reader, and they are a prime example of how stupidity makes you ugly. Of course, since they universally come from Britain's lower social classes, they are case study in how stupidity can make you poor as well. Make sure you keep up those marks, kids!
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How To Spot A Chav
They Cannot Afford Real Bling
Being poor (LOL), chavs have to resort to fake jewellery to satisfy their lust for attire that screams "LOOK AT ME!!!!" Loads of fake gold jewellry, including rings, earrings, necklaces and belt buckles is a surefire sign that the wearer is a chav.
They Think Track Suits Don't Look Gay
Anyone who wears a track suit better goddamn well be on a fucking track. If you spot someone in England wearing a track suit at the mall, or perhaps at a fast food establishment, they are likely to be a chav. Like religious zealots who think that God is a giant sky-daddy who will one day rapture them away to heaven, chavs are blissfully ignorant that track suits look gay because they only hang around other people who don't think track suits look gay.
They Are Generally Pregnant
Male and female chavs alike are pregnant with STUPID, but the women are frequently literally pregnant, as is the case with most poor people. Social scientists are at a loss to explain this phenomenon. Some theorize that condoms just feel weird and that the concept of hormonal birth control is too complex a subject for them to grasp.
BURBERRY
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What To Do if You Spot a Chav
If you know Kung Fu, kick their ass all over the place while you videotape it. This will not only make you a local hero (everyone who isn't a chav hates chavs), but it will make you an internet superstar on YouTube. Even if you DON'T know Kung Fu, kick their ass all over the place. While kicking said ass, be sure to yell something appropriate like "HEY SHITHEAD TRACK SUITS LOOK GAY AND BY THE WAY NOBODY LIKES YOU SLAPPING THEM OK" to teach the offending chav a lesson.
