Carlos Mencia
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Carlos Mencia is stupid.
Carlos Mencia is half Honduran, half Mexican, and half German. He is famous for being on a TV show called Mind of Mencia, which takes place in his mind. He is also famous for inventing the catchphrase, "dee dee DEE!" It's one of the few things he took effort to create on his own.
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Names
Carlos Mencia has many names. They are:
Carlos Mencia (as if you didn't already guess from the title)
Ned Arnel Mencia
Ned Holness
Ned Arnel Holness
Carlos Arnel Mencia
Carlos Holness
The Punisher (a name he gave himself. And stole. From a lame hero in a lame movie. Pretty low.)
Nedlos (a name he made up using two of his own names, Ned and Carlos. He steals from himself! It's pretty stupid to steal from yourself.)
He has also been called "Carlos Mensteala" by his good friend Joe Rogan.
This guy has a lot of names, even for a Mexican!
The Show
Mr. Holness has a show called Mind of Mencia, which stars the multi-named "comedian". The show consists of a monologue by Carlos, a few "comedy" skits, and commercials. Sometimes Carlos will make the audience join in during his skits, where he makes fun of them and breaks their stuff. (one time he took a guy's beeper and gave it to a bunch of cholos to shoot. Beepers are lame, but come on. That was mean.) He also put his face on some audience chick's boobs. It was rude, but who wouldn't want their face buried in funbags?
Some people accuse Carlos of using actors in his audience so he will seem more funny. I think the beeper guy is an actor because I've seen him in other parts of the show where he wasn't playing an audience member. That means the whole beeper thing was planned and wasn't really mean. Also, there was this black woman who laughs in the exact same manner in one episode as she does in another. It looks like they recorded the woman laughing once, then used that footage of her laughing at a skit during an episode she did not attend. Recycling laughter- kinda like what Family Guy tries to do.
He also took a shot at Dave Chapelle during one episode. This is particularly stupid, because it's the equivalent of Muhammed Ali (in his prime) being challenged by Muhammed Ali (how he is now).
The Joe Rogan Thing
Nedlos and Joe used to go to kindergarten together and were really good friends. In fact, they played game "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" on more than one occasion. But, Joe has a very strong hatred for thieves. Another kid in his class stole some old chocolate milk he was drinking and he has hated theives ever since.
When Joe heard Carlos telling other people's jokes, Joe had a flashback (kinda like a Vietnam Vet when he hears firecrackers) and attacked his long time buddy. Carlos then said "What the fuck, man?" but it was no use. Joe was in a delusional state.
A few days later, Joe went up to Carlos. Joe said that he heard Carlos telling other people's jokes on his show. Carlos got scared and thought Joe was a psychic mind-reader (because Carlos' show takes place in his mind). To defend himself, Carlos said that Joe was jealous of Carlos' "success". Carlos also told Joe that he was "acting like a little bitch" (Everyone knows that accusing psychics of jealousy and little bitchery is their one weakness).
Joe replied "I'm not jealous of you, you fat fuck." It was on.
Plagiarism
After Joe's almost insane attack on Burlos Mensteala Wholesome, some other no-name comedians grew some balls and decided to stand up to the fat sack. Joe even brought a very non-threatening Jewish guy with a jew-fro to tell Ted Wholesome that he stole a joke of his involving Mexicans being hired by the United States to build a fence along the U.S.-Mexico border to keep Mexicans out of America. Mencia said that a jew can't tell a joke about Mexicans. (But it's okay for a Honduran/German/Obesity/Mexican hybrid to make a jew joke. And a black joke. And an asian joke. A theif and a hypocrite!
George Lopez also stood up and accused Ned Desi Arnel Holness of stealing his material. And his jokes. (The material is from a very nice pair of jeans Mr. Lopez bought a week earlier). But, unlike Carl, George is from the streets. He don't play that shit. He put the smack down on Carlosboro in some radio station (or some shit like that). I don't think Mensteala will Mensteal any of GLo's jokes again. (Hint to other comedians)
Racism
Some have accused pudgy lil' Arnie that he is a racist. Ned says it's okay to tell racist jokes because he has freedom of speech, and that he is not a racist because he makes fun of all races, even Honduran/German/Theif hybrids.
Here are the races that the fat fuck pokes fun at (kind of a tongue-twister, eh?):
Whites: How could he not make fun of whitey? His white jokes are about white people not being able to dance, being able to ice skate, always coming first in lists, and getting tribal arm band tatoos. "What tribe are you from, Chad?"
Blacks: Making fun of blacks comes naturally to racists. It's one of their basic practices. Menfeel-a's black jokes are about bling, watermelon-eating contests, big schlongs, and being second in lists. After each black joke, Nedlos Arnel makes sure to apologize to any black guy in his vicinity, usually with "My brotha, my bro-THUA!"
Hispandex: To show that he is a fair sport, Med Trollness makes fun of his own- Mexicans! His jokes are about Hispandex being poor, speaking bad english, being adept at hopping fences, and yelling in shrilly annoying voices when they are angry or excited about something. I have been around a lot of Mexicans, and not once have I heard them talk in a voice like that. "One small step for man, one giant leap for WETBACKS!" ("Wetbacks" is said in the annoying shrilly voice) Also, Hispandex people always appear third in lists.
Jews: Mr. "Tough on everybody" made a jew joke once. While showing is "good" side (in a gay pink shirt and baby blue vest) and his "bad" side (wearing a jersey and a cap twisted to the side like a retard. Not threatening at all.) And showing his uneasiness about telling the jew joke for fear of not getting paid or, (hope to God!) cancelled. Jews are white. He's okay with making fun of whites. Ted Wholeness Mensteala's fat, retarded, American "bad" side eventually tells the very unfunny Jew joke in which the Jew is compared to a canoe. Also, Jews always appear fourth in lists.
Asians: Even their kung-fu superiority are no defense for Ted's racial pokes. His asian jokes are about their inferior ability to properly pilot an automobile (aka "bad driving"), kung fu (he stole from me!), having small penises, and being really good in math. "You're not going to MIT for nothin, are ya, Wang Chung?" Asians always appear fifth in lists.
Arabs/Middle Easterners/Whatever the fuck you want to call them: Marlboros really, really makes fun of these guys; he pokes fun at them so hard it hurts. Some of his jokes are about them owning gas stations, getting owned in the Iraq war, having "Achmed" for a name, staying away from the space formerly known as the World Trade Center, throwing rocks, and yelling "ah-la-la-la-la" all-la-la-la-la the time. Also, Arabs always appear sixth in lists.
Indians/Native Americans/Whatever the fuck... you get the idea: Carl's Jr. Mensteala makes fun of these guys for owning casinos. And for the fact that almost all of them are dead. He did not include them in his "Stereotype Olympics" skit. Indians are always last in lists.
The Future
The Future sucks. And so does Mensteala's show. But, I am not God, and neither is anyone else on this planet, so we don't have superpowers to see the future. Only time will tell what the world has in store for the six-billion name man.
