Cancer

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Cancer is stupid.

Cancer is the disease that God embraced after leprosy grew old in 1984. Cancer can occur on any part of the body. If it's an organ, there is a cancer for it. If it's a bone, there's a cancer for it. If it has any organic function what so ever, there's a cancer for it.

When a group of cells somewhere in the body decide to go on strike, they form a lazy worker's union called a "tumor." When the negotiations between the body and tumor break down, they will become belligerent, multiply, and start attacking working cells (shouting "scab" in the process). This is called "cancer."

Chances are that sometime in the Future, you will suffer from cancer of some sort. And it will either be the death of you or cut your lifespan in half. Either way, unless you are an underage child, no one is going to give a shit about you when it happens because you treated them like crap. Fortunately, to hide the fact that they unfeeling assholes, everyone will pretend to feel sorry for you. They can bear it, even though they hate you deep down inside, because they know that you'll die before they do. Of course in the end, you'll both see one another in Hell, because you pleasured yourself when no one was looking.