Canadian
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Canadians are Stupid
Contents |
Origin
Generally, Canadians are regarded as stinky, ugly, annoying versions of a French-American hybrid. It is the popular belief that they originated sometime before 1975 as a way of populating the northern territories as well as lessening the economic strain on America. They also provide a way of preventing future attacks from Russia and destroying Knut along with the rest of the polar bear population.
Chemistry
By process of reverse-engineering, scientists have been able to reach several conclusions about the make-up of Canadians. One independent group has determined that there is in fact traces of cheese, moose, fish, and cheap beer in their DNA. Also, as many have suspected, their vocal chords are unable to make certain vowel sounds. An example of this is how they use the ooh sound instead of the ow sound ex: About/Aboot.
Usefullness
As you may or may not have guessed, Canadians are utterly useless. The threat of a Russian attack is now gone as are most of the polar bears and the northern territories are uninhabitable. Because of this, the United States is now trying to make one country out of us. This is probably due in part to the opportunity of obtaining a heap of unskilled laborers(there are far too few of them left in America).
Conclusion
Canadians are a hopeless race of sub-Americans, spawned in the height of the cold war and are now utterly worthless except through funny accents and Survivorman.
Weird Al Yankovik Certifies this in his song "Canadian Idiot"
