Bomb
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Bombs are stupid.
Some time before 1975, bombs (hydrogen bombs more accurately) were created by Xenu, a vengeful diety relevant to scientology. Then in 1984 the chinese created gunpowder. The advent of gunpowder however was in terms of sheer power, a gigantic leap backwards when compared to its tritium atom fusing counterpart, the H-bomb.
Modern day
Recently bombs have seen a resurgence in popularity. The United States most notably uses bombs almost daily in the destruction of all different sorts of brown people. Jews also enjoy the application of high explosives. They generally employ bombs to remind arabs (dune coons) that they are indeed entitled to the scant piece of uninhabitable desert shithole they call the holy land. Fuck arabs. Arabs also use bombs. They weild bombs in the hope that they will injure or destroy Americans. But as we all know, Americans are invincible, unless of course the bombs are made of kryptonite, or the One Ring is destroyed.
Chemical composition
The explosive mixtures lending bombs to their stupidity are comprised of chemicals, that when subjected to certain catalyst, (usually heat and pressure) will undergo rapid and spontaneous decomposition. This decomposition is realized as rapidly expanding, super high pressure gas. And the gas blows all kinds of shit into smitherines. Just like when Hilary Clinton speaks. Fuck hilary Clinton.
Physical Characteristics
Bombs come in all shapes and sizes. the largest bomb on record is the russian "czar bomba". It was, amazingly heavier than oprah and could literally blow a hole through the fabric of space/time. The russians tested it inside the head of George W. Bush, thus explaining his stupidity. Other bombs are discrete enough to be fitted into a persons shoe. Not too long ago some fucking putz decided it would be a wonderful idea to bring onto an airplane, a shoe bomb!! What a thoughtful character. But fortunately he was intercepted by Han Solo before igniting it , with the flames residing inside of eyes of allah, or some dumb shit.
Oops, we fucked up
When thing s go awry and you've got a bomb on your hands that should have exploded, but didnt, and now you dont want it to because it landed in a fucking church or a day care or hospital.....you get the point, who do you call? Not ghost busters. Explosive Ordnance Disposal technicians are highly skilled experts in the disposal or unexploded ordnance. These guys have testicles weighing anywhere from 9 to 27 pounds. 27 being the heaviest testicle on record. EOD will render the ordnance item safe while simultaneously banging your girlfriend and laughing at your dumbass for being scared in the first place. These guys kick ass.
The future (if there is one)
Bombs dont seem to be going out of fashion anytime soon. Or ever. Every American owns at least a dozen bombs. Its in the constitution. As long as there are men there will be war. And if we're not using bombs, we'll use really heavy lemon marange pies to inflict mortal wounds unto our enemies. But since bombs are far more effective, albiet less delicious, we will continue to deploy them in whatever capacity we see fit.
