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Avatars are stupid.

Matthew McConaughey
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Matthew McConaughey

Contents

Definition

Avatars are computer generated representations of people who are too ugly to show actual pictures of themselves. They are mostly seen in any virtual reality, such as internet forums or 3D computer games. This makes perfect sense, because the word originates from Hindu, where it means 'the one too ugly to be seen in public'.

When avatars become real

Sometimes avatars spring magically to life in the form of super models and Britney Spears. When this happens, they invariably self-destruct, as they are unfamiliar with what is required to actually be human.

History of avatars

Avatars actually owe their existence to cavemen. That's right, cavemen. Stay with me on this...Cavemen represented humans on their cave walls. Modern techno nerds never leave their rooms (cave) and post representations of humans on their computers (walls).

Avatars as legitimate art

Not gonna happen. Rest easy, Michelangelo.

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