Ass
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Ass is stupid.
The ass is located at the backside of the body, and is arguably a biologically redundant body part. It consists mainly of fat and has no obvious physiological function. Despite these facts, the ass has played (and continues to play) a critical role in our lives. This article is too stupid, discusses a stupid subject, and is written by a stupid user. So, go get a life, and stop reading about your ass!
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Cultural Value
The ass has a considerable value in culture. For instance, it has played an significant role in in pornography. Usually, in hip-hop culture, a man refers to a hot woman by addressing her ass. "yo, dude! check that hot ass over there!". However, the same person might, after a few seconds, refer to his friend as a "stupid ass". He might also refer to someone as a "lazy ass" or "fat ass", or even a "dumb ass". When someone simply addresses you as an ass, he could be mysteriously referring to any of the above meanings!
Ass-Based Activities
Ass Kissing
Ass-kissing is an important activity in the world of politics. If you need a promotion or you want your daddy to lend you the car keys, or even if you did something terribly wrong and you want to get away with it, you should try some ass-kissing. In many civilizations, it is considered an art and science to "kiss ass".
Ass Kicking
Just like ass kissing, ass-kicking is a mysterious, fictitious human activity that seldom takes place (in the physical sense), but often takes place in other senses. (LOL). You say you kicked someone's ass when you beat the shit out of him, when you won some sort of a competition against him, or when you managed to get him fired, for instance.
When you're cool, sexy, or brilliant, people tend to refer to you as a kick-ass person. The correlation between your unrivaled social or professional success and your ass has not yet been discovered.
"My Ass"
In many western cultures, my ass can legitimately be inserted at the end of any phrase without an obvious reason, and without affecting the grammatical correctness of the phrase's structure. This usually indicates denial and disapproval. When your daughter arrives home late and tells you she was studying at her friends's house, you can safely tell her "studying my ass!"
Last time I was caught speeding, I told the officer that the gas pedal got stuck momentarily, which resulted in briefly exceeding the speed limit. Of course, the response I got was "gas pedal my ass!"
