Anti-Semitism
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Anti-Semitism is stupid.
Anti-Semitism is a new psychological disorder (arguably newer than AIDS) that affects humans, pigs, and some plant species. Anti-Semites are those dudes who hate the gutts of all the jews and probably wish them all dead. People like Saddam are Anti-Semitic, because they keep claiming that they have enough missiles to wipe out Tel Aviv, which is obviously not a very "loving" gesture.
To get a better understanding of the term, it's always useful to look it up in a dictionary. We all know that "anti" means "against" in Hebrew. So, let's take a closer look at the word "semitic".
Se·mit·ic (sə-mĭt'ĭk) pronunciation
adj.
1. Of or relating to the Semites or their languages or cultures.
2. Of, relating to, or constituting a subgroup of the Afro-Asiatic
language group that includes Arabic, Hebrew, Amharic, and Aramaic.
Based on the above definition, one could be falsely misled into believing that jews themselves are anti-semitic. This, of course, would make them "Self-Hating" (ironically enough, if you Google out the phrase "self-hating",... well, you'll be surprised!). However, this very notion is a strong symptom of Anti-Semitism.
Falling into Anti-semitism might be easier than you think if you're not too careful. Here are some dangerous things that can turn you into an anti-Semite:
- Driving a BMW
- Watching Mel Gibson's movies.
- Not getting your morning coffee from Starbux.
- Living outside New York.
- Drunk driving.
Common Characteristics
All Anti-Semites share the following characteristics:
- When confronted by their truth, anti-semitic people never admit they are.
- At a certain point in their lives, all anti-semitic people suddenly grow a beard. This is a mysterious phenomenon, usually observed after they are confronted with the truth.
- All anti-semitic people are either Fascists, Nazis, terrorists, or vegans.
Antonyms
The term "anti-semitic" has several antonyms. Here are some of them:
- Semitophile: A term that means "jew-loving" (probably in a sexual way).
- Republican: A term that means you're Anti-Saddam.
