Ann Coulter
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Ann Coulter is stupid.
Ann Coulter is a naughty, well-known conservative spinster. Her claim to fame is that she causes more seizures in Liberals than George W. Bush does, and that's really understating things. Ann Coulter is also not-so-widely known to be the twin of The Devil's pet and should-be-dead 'singer' Barbara Streisand.
Ann gets conservative thinkers really hot and bothered with her scathing exposes of liberal media. They sweat with desire as she gives vent about the Left's maligning of Joseph McCarthy, engaged as he was in a righteous battle against communism. Their latent desire reaches orgasmic proportions as she denounces liberal activist 9/11 widows for reveling in their dead husbands' glory. Their unbridled lust rises to unimaginable heights as she eloquently argues Republican talking points on Hannity and Colmes.
Ann engenders a somewhat less enthusiastic response from Liberals and Democrats. They point out that her hands resemble the face-hugger alien from the Alien movie franchise and that her manly adam's apple can be distracting in interviews. They posit that she is banging Matt Drudge despite her lofty principles and fantasize about giving her a good and proper assfucking. They compare her to Hitler (naturally) and reckon haughtily that she doesn't have any children because she eats them.
The truth about Ann, ever elusive, likely lies somewhere in-between.
The Asshole theory
Scientists in Japan may have finally figured out why ann coulter acts like such an asshole. she is obviously a tranny, and being an ugly shemale, she never got laid in her teenage years. this made her angry and the angst built up and she developed the power to morph herself into an actual life sized human asshole, complete with the ability to spew out seemingly endless crap. she did this in hope of getting a gay man with a 12 inch penis to fuck her. this backfired however, when her metamorphosis spiraled out of control, and she actually never stopped growing in size and became the biggest asshole in the universe. so large in fact, that there is actually no way she will be fucked now, because there exists no cock large enough to fuck her (except perhaps, the long cock of the law, but some theorists speculate that even the long cock of justice is not large enough to fuck an asshole of this magnitude.) this pisses her off, which explains why she hates jews, women, men, liberals, al gore, bill clinton, democrats, republicans, humans, god, muslims, titties, pussies, science, the koran, Buddhists, the chinese, the russians, the germans, the americans, the french, the good people in the country of Djibouti, the media, peace, kindness, aliens, zombies, pandas, intelligence, humanity, and the fact that she has been engaged several times, but never married (legend has it all her fiances got lost in her when they tried to fuck that gigantic asshole). The scientists also mentioned that "the one" is the only one capable of stopping her growth. "The One" is not human, but is believed to be such a massive dick that our human minds are unable to comprehend its existance. they have only described him as "Dick C".
