Anal Sex

From Encyclopedia Of Stupid

Anal Sex is stupid.

Anal sex is the act of taking one's penis and placing it in a man or woman's anus. It has long been thought that nobody of sane mind would partake in a bout of anal sex in real life execpt for homosexuals, who most of the time get HIV and/or AIDS from said practice (Ironically, regular and intense practice will reduce the risk of the anally-injected death sentence). It was invented sometime before 1975 by one naked Greek man falling onto another and getting his penis stuck in the other's anus. Comedy and anal sex was born on that day.

Although it's true that the rectum has always been the orifice of choice for the homosexual subculture, it is actually quite popular with the straight kids on America's college campuses. The battle cry of anal sex in the straight male demographic is: "I'd tap that ass." What is striking about this statement is that if it is in reference to a woman, in most cases the man will fall under the douche category. This is strong circumstantial evidence that the bulk of the fraternity crowd are in fact closeted homosexuals who are just one kegger away from a massive circlejerk.

Conversations about anal sex invariably turn to the use of peripheral objects other than the penis, most commonly the American gerbil. However, as of yet, no video proof has ever surfaced of actual gerbil use. Only the massive drops in the world’s gerbil populations serve as possible proof that this activity has become one of the most popular anal pastimes.